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When your Ex doesn’t want to use mediation to divorce

When your Ex doesn’t want to use mediation to divorce

In this interview with Family Mediator Wendy Still, she reveals how even the most negative divorce mediation clients can discover the powerful benefits of using this particular route through divorce:

“Some clients come to mediation, not necessarily because they want to, but rather because their own solicitor has told them “they have to”.

Of course, before issuing any application for financial relief or for an Order under the Children Act in private law proceedings, trying mediation first is a requirement – or at the very least, the attendance at a MIAMS appointment.

When I meet with these clients before the mediation process begins they generally have an air of defeatism about mediation:

“it won’t work but I will come”;

“you can ask my former partner but he/she won’t come”;

“we won’t make any headway as we have tried speaking to each other about this issue already and get nowhere”;

“I am dreading it”….

These are all common phrases that I hear.

However, many times the mediation session which has subsequently taken place has, in fact, worked extremely well, and once the couple are over the initial “dread” of seeing the other person again, a dialogue between them develops and headway is often made.  Not always of course, but a good majority of the time we make real progress – sometimes only baby steps and not a complete resolution – but even if there is agreement on smaller issues, this will often lead to a conversation and then agreement about the larger issues often follows later.

Despite a number of clients “dreading” mediation, or before it even begins feeling that it will be “a waste of time and money”, a good proportion of them end up by saying “that was better than I had hoped”.  And it often saves them spending a great deal more money in court battles which will will have negative emotional as well as financial impacts on the family as a whole.”


wendy still, stephen rimmer llp, eastbourne divorce, mediation sussex

Wendy Still: Mediator and Legal Executive

Stephen Rimmer LLP


Call us or email to book a no-obligation phone conversation on our mediation advice line:

01323 434 415





As divorce mediators we help reduce family conflict during the divorce process,

so that you don’t waste money going to court.


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