What To Watch Out For When Dating After Divorce
Any negative divorce will always impact our future happiness and any future relationship we truly deserve. Our past will undoubtedly be carried forward into our future unless we take time to get clear about the obstacles holding us back, that we will keep repeating again and again.
Unfortunately this is the harsh reality following any nasty divorce. We may consciously think we are ready to date again when the timing is right, but subconsciously we will sabotage any new relationship as it begins or further down the road. To avoid further heartbreak, invest in your future now by taking a new and different approach to understanding yourself before you enter a new relationship. The result will be a shift in your energy, how you feel – and you will attract someone right for you (finally!).
Any divorce will impact the way we feel, what we think and believe. We will always carry this experience with us into any new relationship, unless we become aware of what we are carrying.
For example. If someone has a fear of being hurt again, an individual may unconsciously sabotage the possibility of building a relationship with someone new. Dating may open a doorway to consciously being open to new relationships, but unconsciously, any negative impact of divorce will sabotage finding and building a much healthier and more successful relationship that could work, if only given the chance.
I met a dating couple recently and they acknowledged how anger was a dominant emotion in their growing relationship. The guy already knew he wanted to understand how he could better manage his anger more effectively, but he also noticed how his girlfriend would express a great deal of anger towards him. This is a great example, that dating couples will very often meet someone who will mirror back what we need to explore in ourselves. Anger of course is a destructive emotion that will possibly destroy any new relationship. Working as a Relationship and Self-Transformation Coach, I also provide Holistic options to explore more deeply where our emotions come, from as our body will always store cellular memories until they are released.
What are the first steps a person should take when dating after a long time of inactivity?
To set you up for success! Investing time to better understand yourself will positively accelerate your dating experience and shift your energy to attract someone who is RIGHT for you. We learn new skills at work, so why not learn new relationship skills if you knew they would help you to FIND and BUILD a much more healthier, happier and loving relationship?
It is so important to become the person you want to meet before you start dating again. To also get really clear about the relationship you DO WANT to understand and recognise someone who is right for you and what you want from life. It is so easy to fall into the wrong relationship again, especially if you have been hurt and feeling vulnerable, so any time of inactivity is the perfect time to re-evaluate who you want to attract towards you.
You will otherwise attract someone to you, who will mirror the way you think and feel about yourself. For example. You may be confident at work and very successful, but if you are not feeling confident in yourself, about your self-image, your body, you are likely to attract someone else who is not so confident about the way they feel and look.
Understanding how to shift your thinking is key at this point. For example, on a scale of zero (not feeling confident) up to 10 (you feel really confident about yourself) this example may demonstrate feeling a 5 or 6 on this scale. You are therefore likely to attract a 5 or 6 partner. If on the other hand you want to attract someone to you, who is confident in their skin, how they feel about themselves, exploring your own self-development to change the way you feel, will then move you up the scale to an 8 or 9. You will then energetically attract an 8 or 9 partner to you, Remember that saying, like attracts like!
If someone has had a narcissistic experience, or simply not dated in a while, I would give them the same advice. We need to spend time understanding how we tick as individuals, to get clear about our obstacles (we may not even be aware of) how to build a much stronger foundation before we decide we are ready to start dating again.