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Wallowing in Misery, or Wading Through to the Other Side? By Vivienne Smith

Wallowing in Misery, or Wading Through to the Other Side?  By Vivienne Smith

There are so many ways to cope with the loss of a relationship, but some of them will just leave you feeling worse. In this interview with Transformation Coach and author of “The Single Mum’s Survival Guide”, Vivienne Smith shares a few examples or how we deal with relationship breakdown, and what better choices we can make: Denial You assure everyone you are fine but you realise that you are drinking too much, eating too much or laughing just a little too loudly. You may...

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Is divorce the right choice? by Karen Bashford

Is divorce the right choice? by Karen Bashford

  The Four Stages of Divorce   There are 4 stages to a divorce – the initial decision of should I or shouldn’t I?  Telling your partner… Sorting out the practicalities of a divorce… And finally the divorce itself.   Each stage has an impact on you both emotionally – and financially.  All four stages can be supported by a qualified coach to make each stage less challenging and to ensure that you make the right decisions.   First stage of divorce...

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Can Arbitration ‘rescue’ a mediation going off the rails?

Can Arbitration ‘rescue’ a mediation going off the rails?

  Rather than throwing your hands up in despair when a series of mediations look ready to collapse, and rail against the inability of the couple to decide on one specific area that they just ‘got stuck on’ – then why not give that couple the opportunity to let an Arbitrator decide for them? Not only do they stay out of court, but they also could continue the mediation process after that sticky patch was dealt with.  Doesn’t that not seem a sensible option? But...

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The right kind of lawyers

The right kind of lawyers

  A taste of what choices are available to you when dealing with a ‘co-parent’   I find the easiest way to get a good over view of the options open to me, is to watch a short video. So here are some of the experts you will find in CoParenting in a Box talking about ways to deal with divorce, and also post-divorce conflicts over money and child access, and how to break up intelligently when you live with someone and are not legally married. Yep, staying ‘out of...

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Keeping flexible when creating a child contact agreement

Keeping flexible when creating a child contact agreement

In this video interview by Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller, with Divorce Mediator John Stebbing of Stephen Rimmer LLP, John explains how creating a contact agreement can be a difficult area. The reason it’s difficult is because children grow – their needs change. You don’t want the couple concerned tied to an arrangement which isn’t in the interests of those children anymore. So, you need to have the right type of wording/paragraph that enables the agreement to...

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When your Ex doesn’t want to use mediation to divorce

When your Ex doesn’t want to use mediation to divorce

In this interview with Family Mediator Wendy Still, she reveals how even the most negative divorce mediation clients can discover the powerful benefits of using this particular route through divorce: “Some clients come to mediation, not necessarily because they want to, but rather because their own solicitor has told them “they have to”. Of course, before issuing any application for financial relief or for an Order under the Children Act in private law proceedings, trying mediation first is a...

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Changing People: with Life Coach Sandie Martel

Changing People: with Life Coach Sandie Martel

In this interview with Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller, Life Coach Sandie Martel  shares a story of how she transformed her relationship with her strong-willed 5 year old.   Letting go There is something very liberating when you stop wanting people to change or to change people. We get easily annoyed when people are not acting the way we would like them to. We have so many expectations about just anything and anyone. We often think that life would be so much easier if only our...

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Reducing your financial outgoings during divorce

Reducing your financial outgoings during divorce

  In this video the Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller interviews Financial Consultant Lottie Kent of Riverside Financial Consultants about how a financial advisor can help you reduce your outgoings during divorce, and release finance that can be used to secure a safer future for your children: “I worked with a lady who wanted to stay in the family home, but the monthly payments were so high that she and her daughter were going to have to find another home because of the...

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“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

You are now separated.  Your ex is in a new relationship. You know that your kids will go and spend some time at weekends with this new woman. What is the best way to deal with that situation? Please read too if you are the ‘new woman’ as the same applies. Become the new woman’s worst enemy? Ignore that woman, even though you know that your kids will spend a significant amount of time with her?   Why? Why would you do that?   Well it’s not that simple. No, wait. Let’s put it this...

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Divorce is a confusing time even before you deal with the finances

Divorce is a confusing time even before you deal with the finances

  In this video the Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller interviews Financial Consultant Lottie Kent of Riverside Financial Consultants about how confusing and scary divorce can be, and why the last thing you need is to be getting stressed about your finances as well :   “As the daughter of a broken marriage, I understand how hard divorce can be and I know the last thing you want to be worrying about is your finances. I appreciate going through a divorce is very confusing,...

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Why is counselling when divorcing a wise move?

Why is counselling when divorcing a wise move?

  Why it makes sense to get psychological support earlier rather than later when navigating divorce or family separation: Many clients come to counselling in crisis but realise it would have been life enhancing to invest in their wellbeing earlier.  We often carry the belief that it is disloyal to our family members to discuss our lives with a counsellor when in reality the reverse is true.  What we really need is to be able to express ourselves openly and feel completely un-judged...

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Is divorce your only option?

Is divorce your only option?

  Considering divorce? Think again!   My ex-husband and I separated in 2011 after 18 years together and got divorced in 2014. I don’t necessarily want to go into too much details but I’d like you to have an idea of what we have been through and the reason I do that is that I’d like you to really consider all your options before making your mind up. Most options are often considered – counselling, trying to get your problems solved etc. However there is one option I was not...

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Top Financial Divorce Tips from Knill James

Top Financial Divorce Tips from Knill James

Simple but very useful advice from Knill James Accountants about how to make the divorce process easier.  Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller interviews David Martin and Suzanne Craig of Knill James Accountants and gets their ‘top tips’:   Being organised is the number one Top Tip Where are the bank accounts?  Where are all the bank statements – are they only online and how can you access them if you’re not the spouse in charge of the finances? Don’t forget that...

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Why divorce mediation is better than going to court

Why divorce mediation is better than going to court

  We often hear that Mediation is “better for the children” – but how many people really understand the benefits overall?   In this video interview by Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller, with Divorce Mediator John Stebbing of Stephen Rimmer LLP, John explains why using divorce Mediation instead of the Courts is a wise choice, and illustrates his assertions with a moving tale of a divorcing couple where the father is being denied access to his 3 children.  Below,...

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3 Pieces of Advice To Follow During the Divorce Process: Part 3

3 Pieces of Advice To Follow During the Divorce Process: Part 3

  Look After Yourself   The last piece of advice I would like to give in this series of three articles, is that you learn to love yourself and to take care of yourself   I know we lead such busy lives, going to work, running our own businesses, looking after the kids, the home, the car, making sure everything is in order… What about you? What do you actually do for yourself? Do you take time just for you (without feeling guilty!)? OK you might watch TV once in a while to relieve...

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3 Pieces of Advice To Follow During the Divorce Process: Part 1

3 Pieces of Advice To Follow During the Divorce Process: Part 1

  Divorce can be a very messy and devastating experience   Here is the first of 3 key pieces of advice taken from my personal story to help you cope with your divorce in the best possible manner.   Take Your Time   The first thing you wish for when starting the process is a quick divorce, in the hope that it will help you start afresh sooner, so that you can finally leave the past where it belongs. We all want that. However, my advice to you is to take your time. Why?...

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Change the tone of your divorce using Collaborative Law

Change the tone of your divorce using Collaborative Law

Interview by Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller with Collaborative Lawyer Kim Beatson of Anthony Gold Solicitors     “For me, training as a Collaborative practitioner was a natural progression from being already an experienced Mediator. Some couples feel that Mediation is just too overwhelming for them, if they are struggling with the emotional and psychological aspects of divorce and family breakup, and those clients may want some partisan help during the negotiations. ...

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Kim Beatson: What many people don’t know about divorce mediation

Kim Beatson: What many people don’t know about divorce mediation

  In this interview with Divorce Mediator Kim Beatson of Anthony Gold Solicitors, Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller asks Kim to share the information about mediation that many of her clients are unaware of when they first contact her for a no-obligation chat.     Why did divorce mediation come about?   “The mediation movement first involved lawyers in the 1980s.  It came out of a desire to offer a range of process options to clients, recognising that some of them were...

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Theta works for everyone – Debbie Talalay

Theta works for everyone – Debbie Talalay

  In this interview with Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller, Theta Healer Deborah Talalay explains how Theta Healing works, and what it is used for.   What is Theta Healing and what is it used for?   “You don’t need a special issue to do Theta healing and you don’t need to be unhappy.
 We all carry patterning  inherited from our ancestors and other sources which consciously we would be appalled at. 
This patterning is something we live with whether conscious of it or not. It...

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Protecting the Children from the divorce fall-out

Protecting the Children from the divorce fall-out

How do we protect the children from the effects of the divorce?   The ability to learn forgiveness and being aware of flash points where the children become dragged into the divorce are important.  In this video interview with Transformation Coach Vivienne Smith, Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller records some valuable post-divorce advice for parents: “The one thing that always strikes me whenever I talk to single mums is just how passionately they love their children. They would...

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