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Securing Your Financial Future After Divorce

Securing Your Financial Future After Divorce

  In his interview with Suzy Miller of the Alternative Divorce Guide, Charlie Reading, of Chartered Financial Planning firm Efficient Portfolio, talks about securing your financial future after divorce, and how to prepare for and deal with the financial impact of divorce.   The financial impact of divorce can be very demanding, especially as it comes at a time when the emotional stress is already high. Taking the time to plan financially helps ensure that your divorce runs as...

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Wallowing in Misery, or Wading Through to the Other Side? By Vivienne Smith

Wallowing in Misery, or Wading Through to the Other Side?  By Vivienne Smith

There are so many ways to cope with the loss of a relationship, but some of them will just leave you feeling worse. In this interview with Transformation Coach and author of “The Single Mum’s Survival Guide”, Vivienne Smith shares a few examples or how we deal with relationship breakdown, and what better choices we can make: Denial You assure everyone you are fine but you realise that you are drinking too much, eating too much or laughing just a little too loudly. You may...

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Is divorce the right choice? by Karen Bashford

Is divorce the right choice? by Karen Bashford

  The Four Stages of Divorce   There are 4 stages to a divorce – the initial decision of should I or shouldn’t I?  Telling your partner… Sorting out the practicalities of a divorce… And finally the divorce itself.   Each stage has an impact on you both emotionally – and financially.  All four stages can be supported by a qualified coach to make each stage less challenging and to ensure that you make the right decisions.   First stage of divorce...

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Divorce and Faith

Divorce and Faith

  Life Coach Zina Arinze talks about the conflicts between Faith and Divorce, if your faith says that divorce is ‘wrong’.  How do you deal with that?     “I believe most Christians agree that marriage is supposed to be forever. But when you find yourself separated, divorced or going through the process, how do you deal with the aftermath?”     A Divorced Christian Single Mum, Zina Arinze, has struggled with this dilemma, and learned so much...

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Fixed-Price Mediations – will they become the norm?

Fixed-Price Mediations – will they become the norm?

  “A Serious Lack of Transparency”   This was the conclusion of recent research into the cost of legal services.  Perhaps one of the best ways to help clients manage their finances in the divorce arena, is to offer more fixed-price services.  This has been seen as difficult in the divorce arena, where costs can easily spiral, but Fixed-Fee Mediations are now beginning to be offered by client-focused law firms.   Family Mediator Samantha Jago of RHW Solicitors in...

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Can Arbitration ‘rescue’ a mediation going off the rails?

Can Arbitration ‘rescue’ a mediation going off the rails?

  Rather than throwing your hands up in despair when a series of mediations look ready to collapse, and rail against the inability of the couple to decide on one specific area that they just ‘got stuck on’ – then why not give that couple the opportunity to let an Arbitrator decide for them? Not only do they stay out of court, but they also could continue the mediation process after that sticky patch was dealt with.  Doesn’t that not seem a sensible option? But...

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Should you only use ‘accredited’ family mediators?

Should you only use ‘accredited’ family mediators?

  An additional accreditation has been brought into force for mediators by the Family Mediation Council – but some solicitor mediators are not applying for the accreditation.  One of those mediators is Nadia Beckett, who explains why: I am not an accredited mediator and having given this matter very careful consideration, I have decided not to become accredited. I am a Family Law Solicitor and I have been practicing family law for over 20 years and mediation for around 8 years...

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The right kind of lawyers

The right kind of lawyers

  A taste of what choices are available to you when dealing with a ‘co-parent’   I find the easiest way to get a good over view of the options open to me, is to watch a short video. So here are some of the experts you will find in CoParenting in a Box talking about ways to deal with divorce, and also post-divorce conflicts over money and child access, and how to break up intelligently when you live with someone and are not legally married. Yep, staying ‘out of...

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Practical tips when divorcing by a life organiser

Practical tips when divorcing by a life organiser

When Getting Divorced Keep A Record Of All Your Possessions   If you’re looking for decluttering and help in the home – contact Suzy Miller Email: suzy@startingovershow.com         Divorce is often described as a bereavement. Accepting change can be difficult, coming to terms with the loss of a relationship, the home and sentimental possessions can soon fuel our emotions, resulting...

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Making a Mediation Agreement legally binding

Making a Mediation Agreement legally binding

Something that clients often ask me, is that if you are the parent who isn’t getting contact with the children, then what’s the point of using mediation, since whatever agreement you reach, it is not immediately legally binding? “We can negotiate using mediation, but the other parent can just ignore what was agreed. How do I make sure that this doesn’t happen?” Something that I frequently advise, is that when you use mediation, you can create a parenting plan...

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When your Ex doesn’t want to use mediation to divorce

When your Ex doesn’t want to use mediation to divorce

In this interview with Family Mediator Wendy Still, she reveals how even the most negative divorce mediation clients can discover the powerful benefits of using this particular route through divorce: “Some clients come to mediation, not necessarily because they want to, but rather because their own solicitor has told them “they have to”. Of course, before issuing any application for financial relief or for an Order under the Children Act in private law proceedings, trying mediation first is a...

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Arbitrators: Part of an Adversarial process – or a Peace process?

  There seems to be an assumption amongst even some Mediators and Arbitrators, that a mediation process that is foundering must be inherently one of conflict when a decision can’t be reached. That a couple have to be resolutely disagreeing over an issue as the only reason an arbitrator would be brought in. But sometimes the couple just don’t know the answer; they don’t know what to decide.   Intrinsically adversarial… Not!   I have been told: “Arbitration is...

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Changing People: with Life Coach Sandie Martel

Changing People: with Life Coach Sandie Martel

In this interview with Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller, Life Coach Sandie Martel  shares a story of how she transformed her relationship with her strong-willed 5 year old.   Letting go There is something very liberating when you stop wanting people to change or to change people. We get easily annoyed when people are not acting the way we would like them to. We have so many expectations about just anything and anyone. We often think that life would be so much easier if only our...

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Reducing your financial outgoings during divorce

Reducing your financial outgoings during divorce

  In this video the Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller interviews Financial Consultant Lottie Kent of Riverside Financial Consultants about how a financial advisor can help you reduce your outgoings during divorce, and release finance that can be used to secure a safer future for your children: “I worked with a lady who wanted to stay in the family home, but the monthly payments were so high that she and her daughter were going to have to find another home because of the...

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“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

You are now separated.  Your ex is in a new relationship. You know that your kids will go and spend some time at weekends with this new woman. What is the best way to deal with that situation? Please read too if you are the ‘new woman’ as the same applies. Become the new woman’s worst enemy? Ignore that woman, even though you know that your kids will spend a significant amount of time with her?   Why? Why would you do that?   Well it’s not that simple. No, wait. Let’s put it this...

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Divorce is a confusing time even before you deal with the finances

Divorce is a confusing time even before you deal with the finances

  In this video the Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller interviews Financial Consultant Lottie Kent of Riverside Financial Consultants about how confusing and scary divorce can be, and why the last thing you need is to be getting stressed about your finances as well :   “As the daughter of a broken marriage, I understand how hard divorce can be and I know the last thing you want to be worrying about is your finances. I appreciate going through a divorce is very confusing,...

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Why is counselling when divorcing a wise move?

Why is counselling when divorcing a wise move?

  Why it makes sense to get psychological support earlier rather than later when navigating divorce or family separation: Many clients come to counselling in crisis but realise it would have been life enhancing to invest in their wellbeing earlier.  We often carry the belief that it is disloyal to our family members to discuss our lives with a counsellor when in reality the reverse is true.  What we really need is to be able to express ourselves openly and feel completely un-judged...

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Educated women less threatening to their husbands – apparently

Educated women less threatening to their husbands – apparently

The Divorce News I read today in the Telegraph online is that Men are happier with a smarter wife – according to a study showing a dramatic shift in divorce patterns.  It appears that younger husbands are the first generation of men not to find more highly educated women ‘threatening’. Hoorah! Or is there another way of seeing this? With more than 2.2 million UK women now the main breadwinners in 41% of homes, this study led by Prof Christine Schwartz – a sociologist at the...

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Is divorce your only option?

Is divorce your only option?

  Considering divorce? Think again!   My ex-husband and I separated in 2011 after 18 years together and got divorced in 2014. I don’t necessarily want to go into too much details but I’d like you to have an idea of what we have been through and the reason I do that is that I’d like you to really consider all your options before making your mind up. Most options are often considered – counselling, trying to get your problems solved etc. However there is one option I was not...

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How lawyers can support Mediation

How lawyers can support Mediation

  There is a role for lawyers in divorce mediation, but people need to understand better what that role is   In this video interview by Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller, with Divorce Mediator John Stebbing of Stephen Rimmer LLP, John explains the role of lawyers as part of a mediated divorce process.     The right professional support is often a vital element of a successful mediation.It is important that those mediating have a good grounding in the options that,if...

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