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Is divorce the right choice? by Karen Bashford

Is divorce the right choice? by Karen Bashford

  The Four Stages of Divorce   There are 4 stages to a divorce – the initial decision of should I or shouldn’t I?  Telling your partner… Sorting out the practicalities of a divorce… And finally the divorce itself.   Each stage has an impact on you both emotionally – and financially.  All four stages can be supported by a qualified coach to make each stage less challenging and to ensure that you make the right decisions.   First stage of divorce...

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Divorce and Faith

Divorce and Faith

  Life Coach Zina Arinze talks about the conflicts between Faith and Divorce, if your faith says that divorce is ‘wrong’.  How do you deal with that?     “I believe most Christians agree that marriage is supposed to be forever. But when you find yourself separated, divorced or going through the process, how do you deal with the aftermath?”     A Divorced Christian Single Mum, Zina Arinze, has struggled with this dilemma, and learned so much...

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Fixed-Price Mediations – will they become the norm?

Fixed-Price Mediations – will they become the norm?

  “A Serious Lack of Transparency”   This was the conclusion of recent research into the cost of legal services.  Perhaps one of the best ways to help clients manage their finances in the divorce arena, is to offer more fixed-price services.  This has been seen as difficult in the divorce arena, where costs can easily spiral, but Fixed-Fee Mediations are now beginning to be offered by client-focused law firms.   Family Mediator Samantha Jago of RHW Solicitors in...

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Can Arbitration ‘rescue’ a mediation going off the rails?

Can Arbitration ‘rescue’ a mediation going off the rails?

  Rather than throwing your hands up in despair when a series of mediations look ready to collapse, and rail against the inability of the couple to decide on one specific area that they just ‘got stuck on’ – then why not give that couple the opportunity to let an Arbitrator decide for them? Not only do they stay out of court, but they also could continue the mediation process after that sticky patch was dealt with.  Doesn’t that not seem a sensible option? But...

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Should you only use ‘accredited’ family mediators?

Should you only use ‘accredited’ family mediators?

  An additional accreditation has been brought into force for mediators by the Family Mediation Council – but some solicitor mediators are not applying for the accreditation.  One of those mediators is Nadia Beckett, who explains why: I am not an accredited mediator and having given this matter very careful consideration, I have decided not to become accredited. I am a Family Law Solicitor and I have been practicing family law for over 20 years and mediation for around 8 years...

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The right kind of lawyers

The right kind of lawyers

  A taste of what choices are available to you when dealing with a ‘co-parent’   I find the easiest way to get a good over view of the options open to me, is to watch a short video. So here are some of the experts you will find in CoParenting in a Box talking about ways to deal with divorce, and also post-divorce conflicts over money and child access, and how to break up intelligently when you live with someone and are not legally married. Yep, staying ‘out of...

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Keeping flexible when creating a child contact agreement

Keeping flexible when creating a child contact agreement

In this video interview by Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller, with Divorce Mediator John Stebbing of Stephen Rimmer LLP, John explains how creating a contact agreement can be a difficult area. The reason it’s difficult is because children grow – their needs change. You don’t want the couple concerned tied to an arrangement which isn’t in the interests of those children anymore. So, you need to have the right type of wording/paragraph that enables the agreement to...

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Making a Mediation Agreement legally binding

Making a Mediation Agreement legally binding

Something that clients often ask me, is that if you are the parent who isn’t getting contact with the children, then what’s the point of using mediation, since whatever agreement you reach, it is not immediately legally binding? “We can negotiate using mediation, but the other parent can just ignore what was agreed. How do I make sure that this doesn’t happen?” Something that I frequently advise, is that when you use mediation, you can create a parenting plan...

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EFT Helplessness Part 2: Feeling Stronger

EFT Helplessness Part 2: Feeling Stronger

  Once the ghastly emotional trauma of a marriage ending and the divorce proceedings being started, there may be an opportunity for some dust to settle. Realisations take place and there is a change of perception from the confidence or acceptance of a marriage to the raw awareness of failure or abandonment. Strong feelings of sadness, rage or injustice often dictate during this difficult transition time. However decisions need to be made and life does go on. This blog and video is for...

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When your Ex doesn’t want to use mediation to divorce

When your Ex doesn’t want to use mediation to divorce

In this interview with Family Mediator Wendy Still, she reveals how even the most negative divorce mediation clients can discover the powerful benefits of using this particular route through divorce: “Some clients come to mediation, not necessarily because they want to, but rather because their own solicitor has told them “they have to”. Of course, before issuing any application for financial relief or for an Order under the Children Act in private law proceedings, trying mediation first is a...

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Arbitrators: Part of an Adversarial process – or a Peace process?

  There seems to be an assumption amongst even some Mediators and Arbitrators, that a mediation process that is foundering must be inherently one of conflict when a decision can’t be reached. That a couple have to be resolutely disagreeing over an issue as the only reason an arbitrator would be brought in. But sometimes the couple just don’t know the answer; they don’t know what to decide.   Intrinsically adversarial… Not!   I have been told: “Arbitration is...

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Reducing your financial outgoings during divorce

Reducing your financial outgoings during divorce

  In this video the Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller interviews Financial Consultant Lottie Kent of Riverside Financial Consultants about how a financial advisor can help you reduce your outgoings during divorce, and release finance that can be used to secure a safer future for your children: “I worked with a lady who wanted to stay in the family home, but the monthly payments were so high that she and her daughter were going to have to find another home because of the...

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Divorce is a confusing time even before you deal with the finances

Divorce is a confusing time even before you deal with the finances

  In this video the Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller interviews Financial Consultant Lottie Kent of Riverside Financial Consultants about how confusing and scary divorce can be, and why the last thing you need is to be getting stressed about your finances as well :   “As the daughter of a broken marriage, I understand how hard divorce can be and I know the last thing you want to be worrying about is your finances. I appreciate going through a divorce is very confusing,...

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How lawyers can support Mediation

How lawyers can support Mediation

  There is a role for lawyers in divorce mediation, but people need to understand better what that role is   In this video interview by Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller, with Divorce Mediator John Stebbing of Stephen Rimmer LLP, John explains the role of lawyers as part of a mediated divorce process.     The right professional support is often a vital element of a successful mediation.It is important that those mediating have a good grounding in the options that,if...

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Top Financial Divorce Tips from Knill James

Top Financial Divorce Tips from Knill James

Simple but very useful advice from Knill James Accountants about how to make the divorce process easier.  Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller interviews David Martin and Suzanne Craig of Knill James Accountants and gets their ‘top tips’:   Being organised is the number one Top Tip Where are the bank accounts?  Where are all the bank statements – are they only online and how can you access them if you’re not the spouse in charge of the finances? Don’t forget that...

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Why divorce mediation is better than going to court

Why divorce mediation is better than going to court

  We often hear that Mediation is “better for the children” – but how many people really understand the benefits overall?   In this video interview by Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller, with Divorce Mediator John Stebbing of Stephen Rimmer LLP, John explains why using divorce Mediation instead of the Courts is a wise choice, and illustrates his assertions with a moving tale of a divorcing couple where the father is being denied access to his 3 children.  Below,...

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Change the tone of your divorce using Collaborative Law

Change the tone of your divorce using Collaborative Law

Interview by Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller with Collaborative Lawyer Kim Beatson of Anthony Gold Solicitors     “For me, training as a Collaborative practitioner was a natural progression from being already an experienced Mediator. Some couples feel that Mediation is just too overwhelming for them, if they are struggling with the emotional and psychological aspects of divorce and family breakup, and those clients may want some partisan help during the negotiations. ...

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Will Collaborative Law win over Mediation in the end?

Will Collaborative Law win over Mediation in the end?

  Interview by Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller with Mediator and Collaborative Lawyer Kim Beatson of Anthony Gold Solicitors       What is the best way to go through divorce? “I would say to anyone: ‘Here is my options leaflet, giving you the choices of Mediation, Collaborative Law, lawyer-led mediation or the court system. It’s your choice. Think about those options carefully.’”   Why don’t people know more about it? “Mediation awareness...

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Kim Beatson: What many people don’t know about divorce mediation

Kim Beatson: What many people don’t know about divorce mediation

  In this interview with Divorce Mediator Kim Beatson of Anthony Gold Solicitors, Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller asks Kim to share the information about mediation that many of her clients are unaware of when they first contact her for a no-obligation chat.     Why did divorce mediation come about?   “The mediation movement first involved lawyers in the 1980s.  It came out of a desire to offer a range of process options to clients, recognising that some of them were...

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Mediator Kim Beatson tells us why Divorce Mediation can lead to a happier wedding

Mediator Kim Beatson tells us why Divorce Mediation can lead to a happier wedding

Kim Beatson, Mediator at Anthony Gold Solicitors, explains to Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller, how mediation can make the divorce process less agonising, and weddings less strained.   “I attended a wedding a while ago where the atmosphere was tense rather than joyful, because the bride’s parents had divorced ten years previously, and animosity between them still reigned.   Although the divorce rate has stabilized at around 117,000 couples a year – from a marriage rate of...

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