Forgiveness and Divorce
How do we forgive when we have suffered so much before
and during the divorce process,
and why is it so important that we do?
“Forgiveness – this is so easy for an objective observer to recommend – and so very hard to do if you are the one still gripped by the bitterness, anger, hurt and resentment that separation and divorce so often leave in their trail.
In my own case, I found the Forgiveness chapter in my book very hard to write and for that very reason I knew that it would be one of the most important. I explain to my readers and clients that to forgive someone doesn’t necessarily have to mean that you condone what they did or even agree with them; rather it should mean that you accept the facts of what happened and you are ready to let go. Because after all, if you hang on to that bitterness and resentment, the only person who will ultimately suffer is you – and perhaps your children, who may also be affected (perhaps without you even realising).
But even though forgiveness is important, it’s also vital to express all those things that have been choking you up inside. The good news is that you can do this in the safety and privacy of your own company (thereby protecting your dignity), rather than blurting them out in front of the children when your ex arrives to collect them for his weekend! There are several very cathartic and liberating processes that I take people through in order to clear – once and for all – that feeling of unfinished business.”