How to start standing in your power with money
You may have heard the saying that ‘How you do one thing is how you do everything’ – which, when you stop to think about it, is a big statement in itself.
However, when it comes to earning, saving, being in debt and really getting to grips with your money habits, mind-set and increasing your income potential since your divorce so that you can begin to create that liberating financial independence – then the saying changes to ‘How you do money is how you do everything.’
This is the phrase that my mentor has taught me to adopt in recent years. When you begin to shine a spotlight on precisely what that means for you in your life, how your habits and attitudes towards money reflect what is going on for you in a bigger way, you will begin to see what a phenomenally powerful statement it is and what it can teach you about yourself.
Let me help you out here a bit and give you some examples of what I mean.
When you have been through a separation or divorce you’ll know that both sides lose financially. Whatever income there was that was shared, is now halved or worse. And it’s vital for you to learn to take control over this area of your life so that it is driven forward by a positive energy – one of possibility, intention, gratitude and one of being able to accept more.
The thing is, people rarely feel expansion when it comes to money because they have never been shown or taught how to. Most people feel an enormous amount of contraction around the whole issue – earning, saving, debt and talking about it. In many cases it is a more taboo subject than sex to talk about! Depending on what story you were told as you grew up, it’s quite probable that you harbour emotions of shame, guilt and unworthiness that you’ve been dragging around with you – holding you back and weighing you down – that is until someone shows you that it is possible to let these go and begin to celebrate what you do, what you earn and that it is all totally OK for you to do this.
If you want something to increase then you need to start paying more attention to it. Wherever you place more attention and energy you will find that this is what grows and increases, whether it’s good or bad.
Here are some ways that you may be unwittingly hampering the flow of income and increase in your life:
If you want to create more money in your life it is important for you to become disciplined about what is coming in and what is going out. You need to start being ‘grown-up’ about what your money situation is, and tracking your income and expenses is one of the first things you must do to take control back
You may have noticed emotions around money like feeling guilty for wanting more, feelings of greed or not being deserving in some way, or maybe you are not comfortable asking for payment from people or requesting that a personal debt be settled. If this applies to you then you need to get these things brought out into the open and shown the door. I’m serious! These attitudes and agreements will be holding you back and contaminating your energy, preventing you from breaking free and turning things around
Create some courageous income goals for the next 30 days, 6 months and 12 months. Make sure that they are a stretch for you yet remaining realistic. You need to decide in advance what it is you want to earn and when by. It’s a lot like doing a task – if you’ve got all day to put a stamp on a letter it will take you all day to do it. If you give something half an hour to do, it will take that amount of time. That’s just how it works. Generating income is like that too. If you don’t set a goal, you will generate far less than if you do set a goal, because the goal will stretch you forward and cause you to take action in ways that you might not have otherwise thought of. Even if you miss your actual goal, you will achieve far more than if you had never set the goal and your confidence will be given a massive boost.
You are in charge of your income – it doesn’t just happen to you. What income shows up for your is a direct result of the actions you take – or not, of you clearing out old habits and beliefs and starting to feel empowered, of setting goals, monitoring how you are doing, getting support and making shifts along the way.
Wilma’s a money mindset and performance coach who helps women create a secure financial future, particularly after a divorce. She gives practical support on what needs to happen to earn more, keep more and become debt-free.
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