How A Divorce PA Can Help You Have A Better Divorce
“It doesn’t have to be like this, David” I said to my new, overwrought client who was desperately scanning through his emails for the details of the expensive, litigious, “big gun” London solicitor that his friend had recommended.
“It’ll make this situation even harder for you, and cost a fortune… why not work with a mediator?”
At the time, David was too upset to even open the post after the recent departure of his wife. But over the ensuing weeks, as we worked through each situation, letter and piece of paperwork and a degree of calm and control returned to his life, we talked through the options.
The fear receded as each admin hurdle was overcome and the previously terrifying mountain of problems and paperwork was brought into line. Letters were written and payment plans agreed, and once David realised that he was not powerless in every aspect of his life he began to see that a big fight and having his day in court were unlikely to lead to any future satisfaction or benefit.
This is all part of my work as a Divorce PA. It is a unique role in which I hand-hold my clients through their divorce admin, helping them deal with all the many practical and psychological consequences of a divorce, and introducing them to relevant professionals if they need them.
Soon David also calmed down enough to realise that his previously envisaged angry-divorce route would leave an even more major dent in his finances than a mediation-based one.
His wife’s position changed too. At the beginning, overwhelmed with the enormity of her departure, she wouldn’t countenance seeing him, but over time she began to see that mediation might work.
She’s now agreed to shuttle mediation – the first session is booked and I’m hopeful that after a few of those sessions they’ll both conclude that the mediator offers a safe space for both of them and will be able to progress to being in the room together with the mediator to streamline their progress to a fairly agreed conclusion.
For me, the satisfaction in seeing the transformation in my client from fear and overwhelm to focus and direction was enormous. And knowing that I had been able to offer a different, constructive, and impartial perspective on his predicament and the options available to support him through this change in his life was a very real bonus.