What are the symptoms that can affect people who are going through a divorce? Life itself is stressful enough without the added stress caused by marital breakdown. Common symptoms that I witness as a life coach and hypnotherapist often supporting people through their divorce stress, are worry and anxiety about the future (financially and emotionally) which often leads to erratic sleep patterns. When sleep is lacking it often leads to irritability, frustration, lack of energy and...
Read More I hear a lot of about collaborative lawyers and the good work they do helping couples navigate the complex process of separation and divorce. Perhaps the collaborative model would be best for Brexit – legal advice to hand, yet ultimately, collaboration and clear communication (rather than game-playing) the order of the day? And a lot more private too. Several celebrity couples have gone through a collaborative divorce. Singer and performer Madonna and her former...
Read MoreMy biggest inspiration has been my children. My children have been the most important thing in my life so far. To me children are a gift, and with that gift comes a responsibility from the person who receives them, to make sure that children are given the best opportunities in life, so that they grow into well-adjusted, functioning adults. My inspiration for working with couples as a relationship coach is that I know how traumatic divorce and separation can be. i just want to help other...
Read More In this Brooklands Radio Surrey interview with Theta Healer Debbie Talalay, Debbie explains how Theta Healing is a quick and powerful way to heal the mind of subconscious blocks – and also physical problems. She relates an incredible story about a Theta Healing client who reported that her Psoriasis disappeared overnight, and how she has helped people with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. “Debbie Talalay – wow, if you haven’t been to see...
Read More The wife of former Sky Sports presenter Richards Keys has claimed she spotted ‘telltale’ signs that he may be seducing another woman – as she wrote a book on infidelity. A trained counsellor, she has now written a book called The Manscript, which helps readers to identify when their partner is cheating on them. I hope that as a trained counsellor, Julia Keys will offer more in her book than how to increase the level of paranoia and fear in every couple who reads the book, where...
Read More Fantastic news – and proof that sanity does eventually (begin to) prevail in the world of Divorce and Families: As a result of the Child First Campaign bringing the issue of survivors of domestic abuse being cross examined by their abusers in the family courts and the subsequent Guardian investigation into the issue, the Government have announced an emergency review to find the quickest way to ban abusive ex-partners from cross examining their victims. Women’s Aid say...
Read MoreIn family life, separation and divorce is traumatic and distressing. It has a negative impact on the overall health and wellbeing of those involved. Although the EU is not a ‘family’ unit, the UK’s vote to exit reflects and parallels the negative fall-out and effects of high-conflict ‘family’ separations on the individuals involved. As a divorce counsellor, Brexit fuelled my therapeutic curiosity. Personally, it brought up issues of loss of relationships and familiar connections. I became...
Read More There’s something magical about family holidays like Christmas and Easter that encourage people to bring joy to others. It’s one of my absolute favourite times of the year where my family and extended family traditionally come together to give thanks. But has the reality of Christmas or Easter without the ‘perfect family’ hit home for you this year – or for someone you know and love? Is there a husband and wife who are dancing to different tunes – out of...
Read More There are so many ways to cope with the loss of a relationship, but some of them will just leave you feeling worse. In this interview with Transformation Coach and author of “The Single Mum’s Survival Guide“, Vivienne Smith shares a few examples or how we deal with relationship breakdown, and what better choices we can make: Denial You assure everyone you are fine but you realise that you are drinking too much, eating too much or laughing...
Read More Read MoreIs your Ex following you through social media and the internet? Social media is a wonderful tool for staying in contact, finding clients and suppliers, and on a social level, sharing informative and fun videos. But there is also a dark side to social media – one that as a divorcee you need to be aware of. I discovered how vulnerable I was to my horror, when my ex of 22 years used social media and my website to harass me. It is not pleasant to receive an email or comments on a blog from...
Read MoreInterview with Chartered Counselling Psychologist Adraina Galimberti-Rennie about how dads can be considered ‘single’ by the State after separation, and not be able to afford to have an extra room for their children to come and stay with...
Read More The Four Stages of Divorce There are 4 stages to a divorce – the initial decision of should I or shouldn’t I? Telling your partner… Sorting out the practicalities of a divorce… And finally the divorce itself. Each stage has an impact on you both emotionally – and financially. All four stages can be supported by a qualified coach to make each stage less challenging and to ensure that you make the right decisions. First stage of divorce...
Read More Read More Life Coach Zina Arinze talks about the conflicts between Faith and Divorce, if your faith says that divorce is ‘wrong’. How do you deal with that? “I believe most Christians agree that marriage is supposed to be forever. But when you find yourself separated, divorced or going through the process, how do you deal with the aftermath?” A Divorced Christian Single Mum, Zina Arinze, has struggled with this dilemma, and learned so much...
Read More You are not alone: Did you know that even though swans usually mate for life, sometimes they still ‘divorce’? Divorce & family breakup is an emotional & psychological journey, more than a legal & financial one. What you feel will directly effect how you act: your pain, anger, fear or sense of hopelessness is all quite natural. How do I keep myself sane through all this? I think we all go a little crazy during big life changes...
Read More Will divorce really harm my children? No-one wants their kids to be used as weapons in an adversarial divorce – yet so many families fall into that trap. Your children can grow up as happy as everyone else’s kids – despite the divorce. But let’s be aware of the consequences if we get it wrong….. Listen to Catherine’s story….. Want to reduce the toxic effects of divorce on your kids? Use the Alternative Divorce Guide...
Read MoreWhen Getting Divorced Keep A Record Of All Your Possessions If you’re looking for decluttering and help in the home – contact Suzy Miller Email: suzy@startingovershow.com Divorce is often described as a bereavement. Accepting change can be difficult, coming to terms with the loss of a relationship, the home and sentimental possessions can soon fuel our emotions, resulting in aggression, bullying and controlling behaviour. If you want to know more...
Read More Susan Cowe Miller reassures new dads that there is a simple way to deal with the inevitable stress of fatherhood using Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping). This technique would be particularly useful for dads who don’t live with their children, and where the contact is squashed into a limited amount of time – which can make the parenting experience even more stressful. Are you a father finding parenthood difficult? Are you new to...
Read More Zina Arinze of Believe and Live Again shares her views on how divorce coaching can differ from traditional counselling: “One of the things that people need to understand is that there is a difference between being a coach, being a mentor, and being a therapist or a councillor. Now a councillor will help you to uncover what’s happened in the past. You might have some hidden issues from your childhood. that have really formed you, and developed you, and made you who you are...
Read MoreMost separating parents ask themselves their own version of this question. The main thing to remember here is that your daughter needs all the support she can have to carry on having loving relationship with her dad. So how much you are going to tell her will depend on whether the situation between yourself and her dad affected her life directly or not. Let’s start with an easier scenario: if the happenings between the two of you were quite contained, she does not need to know the...
Read MoreI am a child psychologist Una Archer and I help divorcing mums to do whatever they need to do so that their children feel just as loved, secure and comfortable in their own skin as before the divorce and sometimes even more so. Helping children feel safe is the most direct way of preventing and resolving any issues that the divorce can cause for them. Having had the privilege to witness the journey of a fair few mums I noticed that there are some ideas that seem to be floating in our culture...
Read MoreLeading London-based Theta healer Debbie Talalay of Deborah Talalay Healing, empowers her clients who have been held back by a fear of rejection, through her affordable videos and energy-based healing. For those who have been through a divorce or separation, that sense of rejection can be very difficult to shift without the use of Debbie’s healing techniques. “Fear of rejection – this plagues most of us at some time or other in our lives, and yet there is such a simple way...
Read More How can I help my child to manage their disappointment when the other parent does not show up to see them? Una Archer MBPsS is a child psychologist who shares practical advice on how to deal with a very stressful and upsetting common co-parenting situation: It is a good idea to address your own disappointment first: you might have been looking forward to the break or had some other plans for this time that you will have to cancel at a very short notice and do...
Read More All over the world you have people who either help you before you get married, or after you get married. But what about when you get divorced? Zina Arinze of Believe and Live Again talks about the power of divorce coaching and how forgiveness can be a catalyst for moving on. “If you are considering divorce, the kind of things that you need to look at – the finances, the property, the children – teaching you how to not be too emotional during...
Read More “I think the most important thing for couples to realise is that the impact that they are going to have on their children during divorce is enormous.” “All the research now shows that children survive divorce and adjust well if the parents act civilly and behave as friends. So the biggest mistake a lot of parents make, is that they get angry, rush off to the lawyers, rush off to court, and start a war. I’ve had children come into my office and draw me...
Read More Zina Arinze of Believe and Live Again is a career woman who knows how tough it is to get divorced and hold down a high level job at the same time. One of the reasons I love what I do is because it’s my story. I am a mother and a professional. My first degree was in Law, I have an MBA and I was married to a doctor. We were one of those ‘professional couples’. I work as a project management consultant in high pressure jobs, and when I was going through...
Read More Professional women typically wear a mask. I know I used to wear a mask and hide my true emotions. We feel we are not allowed to be vulnerable. If you hold a high postion in the workplace you feel that you are not allowed to be emotional or to show any vulnerability. Your boss or director may feel that you can’t hold it together and you may feel that you could lose your job, as you are seen as someone who may threaten the bottom line of the...
Read MoreIf you’re a woman and you’re the one who has been deserted – it’s difficult to feel good about yourself. Is it my weight – have I gone to seed? Is that why he’s left me? Or – he left me to look after the kids – so I gave up my career and now he finds me boring. It’s so unfair! Or – I’m stuck at home and he’s out in the world – meeting glamorous people. I’ll never forgive him. Once you’ve got over the shock – and if the relationship really can’t be mended – take a good look at yourself....
Read More Once the ghastly emotional trauma of a marriage ending and the divorce proceedings being started, there may be an opportunity for some dust to settle. Realisations take place and there is a change of perception from the confidence or acceptance of a marriage to the raw awareness of failure or abandonment. Strong feelings of sadness, rage or injustice often dictate during this difficult transition time. However decisions need to be made and life does go on. This blog and video is for...
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