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Have you heard?

Have you heard? “Have you heard about Emily?” “Yes” Silence. “Is someone going to make an announcement?” “Well Stephen knows, let’s leave it to him to decide.” Mutual agreement, I nodded my head like one of those silly dogs on car back windscreens. “He announced one death yesterday already, and two deaths might be… well…” I nodded again, agreeing. Two people who will never again be joining us to listen to music and song at this private festival, bustling with parents and children from the...

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He Knocked On The Door

  He knocked so hard on my oaken door that his knuckles bled And through a crack in the wood I could feel his breath   Fear drowned out his soft words and filled my head So I ran upstairs and hid under the bed   The voice in my belly cried: “Please let him in! Did you not wish for gold, a big house and a lover within?”   My head replied: “But he wants me to give up what is not yet mine And this coming from a man, who reeks of garlic and wine!”   The soft voice rose up...

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Tantrum with God

I’m having a tantrum with God today Because I don’t want him to take my friend away He’s pissing me off by letting her be ill And no-one can visit her until The Chemo Radiation Have made her better And those who know her are sending her letters Those of us who are so blessed for ever having met her   The unlimitless Love That we all feel for her – but is that enough? Why God are you making this so tough? For me as I stomp and stamp my feet and shake my head And shout “NO! I hate you...

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Infidelity? It’s none of my business

Infidelity? It’s none of my business

    The shock of the breakup was so sudden, so extreme, that normal behaviour would have seemed inappropriate     The events that lead up to it should have left clues, but they didn’t register: The bank letters addressed in his name that I didn’t open because I’d learned that it was, apparently, none of my business how he kept missing the payments on the credit cards. The time he spent at the local pub which was natural for a hard working man, to need...

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A Part Of You

A Part Of You

    Is he part of you, his loss feeling like an amputation? Or was his Love nothing but an hallucination? His going away like a dismemberment of heart and soul The ripped abdomen of a bee that has stung and fled The relationship is dead Yet you are alive and it is you who are left with a hole Playing out your suffering role And strangely, no visible blood. Your agony cries, more a victim’s sobs than a tearful flood Of salty sacrifice, of abandoned child Of anger raging behind...

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A new dance

    Kylie had seen her mum dance at Xmas with her dad and they hadn’t looked any more clumsy or embarrassing than anyone else’s parents.  But now her stepdad had run off with a lap dancer from Leighton Buzzard, and Kylie assumed she would never again have to cringe at her mother in public trying to  wave her arms and wiggle her hips at the same time, just slightly off the beat.  But Kylie was wrong.     “Oww.  Oww ow ow”.  Sally said the words out...

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The Present

  What would you do if you came home to find your wife sitting at the kitchen table with a present for you – called “Divorce in a Box”?    The door slammed behind him making her jump, spilling her tea into the saucer. George trudged into the kitchen with his usual business-like swagger, droning on again about the choice of venue for the Rotary Club dinner. “For God’s Sakes Eileen, what were they thinking of? What possessed them to book a function room at...

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Four questions parents rarely ask out loud

How will I deal with the guilt when I look at my kids and feel that I’ve let them down? Time. Focus on the positive outcomes you want to achieve, and let your learning be their learning.   How will I survive financially and what will I do when the kids leave home, my career has been obliterated by the restraints of parenting, and I have no financial resources left? Be creative. Lot’s of full-time workers have lost half their pensions due to the financial crises of the last few...

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Suzy’s Story

Suzy’s Story

  A Strange Gift: Unplanned Solo Parenting   It’s a January morning in 2003 and I can’t bring myself to take the kids to school. What will I say when someone asks me “How are you?” The answer, you see, is just not the stuff of polite conversation.   “W E L L… My partner of ten years has just dumped me. “I was supposed to live with him into old age. I had no idea that he wasn’t happy. “I loved the bastard. “But that’s only the half of it – he’s...

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The kids rewrite the Ten Commandments

The kids rewrite the Ten Commandments

  I asked my three children when still young what their advice would be to parents who are splitting up.  This is a summary of what they said:     ONE: ‘Put me first – make me the incentive to break up right. Please don’t fight.‘ TWO: ‘Don’t think new partners buying presents and chocolate will make them take the place of my real mum/dad. Kids don’t worship false idols.’ THREE:  ‘You shall not take the name of each other in vain....

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