Divorce Advice Archives - Online Divorce Advice II How to divorce amicably
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How do you mediate divorce with a narcissist?

How do you mediate divorce with a narcissist?

There seems to be an increase in the number of divorcees accusing their spouses as being narcissistic, and it could be that the term is being used more widely because these days, it’s so easy to find a list on the internet of “How to spot if your spouse is a narcissist” – though many of the traits and ‘tell-tale signs” are not that far from behaviour most of us might demonstrate on a bad day! But perhaps the apparent rise in this style of behaviour is a reflection of our times, and the...

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Trump’s War Speech Shows The Weakness Of Dispute On All Levels

Trump’s War Speech Shows The Weakness Of Dispute On All Levels

With Trump blasting out his rhetoric to the UN threatening to destroy North Korea and undermining, completely, existing peaceful agreements on reducing arms proliferation with Iran – deliberately crushing opportunities to mediate and find healthier solutions – the parallels with a nasty divorce were inescapable. But when you are dealing with a narcissistic opponent – as many divorcing couples are – how can peaceful solutions possibly work?     Look at it this...

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To have and to hold – insurance for married couples

To have and to hold – insurance for married couples

To have and to hold Arranging insurance for married couples should arguably go hand in hand with saying “I do”.   Financial matters are perhaps not the first consideration when getting married. But it is vitally important to review current financial arrangements and establish new plans at the start of a significant new stage of life. Perhaps the first and most obvious thing to consider is wedding insurance, given that even a simple ceremony and reception will cost many thousands of pounds...

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The Big Mistakes Men Make When Divorcing

The Big Mistakes Men Make When Divorcing

What are the key classic errors men often make and how to avoid them   Sussex-based family mediator Julia Warnes offers some guidance for men when divorcing: “I would say the most common mistake is often not obtaining advice at the earliest opportunity and often waiting until the process can be thrust upon them. I am aware that sometimes they might not want to be the bad guy and make the decision that it is the end of the relationship, rather waiting for the decision to be made for them....

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How To Get your Life Back On Track After Divorce – Relationship & Dating Coach Karen Marshall

How To Get your Life Back On Track After Divorce – Relationship & Dating Coach Karen Marshall

Are you training for a sprint or marathon?   PAINFUL BEGINNINGS When you are separating, going through a divorce or rebuilding your life again, you may be thinking, love will never happen again, or you really don’t want another relationship right now, because of the pain, heartache, and challenges you are working through.  If you have children, their welfare will be something else on your mind.  Let’s face it – splitting up is never going to be fun – and it may have you living one...

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Ways To Survive The Summer Holidays When You Are A Separated Family – Part Two

Ways To Survive The Summer Holidays When You Are A Separated Family – Part Two

  The first few months and years after separation require adjustments, but when couples move on, parents enter into new relationships.  This can mean that whereas one couple were involved before with the co-parenting, now step-parents and more become involved. Blended families bring their own challenges – and not forgetting the important role of grandparents, who may also need to be included.   Possible solutions:   Plan as early as possible. Work out a Parenting Plan as...

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Integrating Families Can Be Tough

Integrating Families Can Be Tough

Nigel shares how difficult it can be to integrate families post-divorce.  Sometimes the ‘new wife’ can be a powerful force for peace! Demi Moore & Bruce Willis who are masters of managing the ‘blended family’.   Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin also stayed friends through their “conscious uncoupling.”  Or you may have heard of Ben Affleck’s divorce where the couple agreed to have separate homes on the same property so their three children can be near both parents.  How would...

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Ways To Survive The Summer Holidays When You Are A Separated Family – Part One

Ways To Survive The Summer Holidays When You Are A Separated Family – Part One

  BBC Radio Leicester Interview with Collaborative Practitioner and Family Lawyer James Belderbos     Summer – and the school summer holidays in particular – can bring stress to many families. We are familiar with the pressures that Christmas can bring with families thrown together over the festive period, but the summer holidays can also create stress and opportunities for conflict. Sadly, like Christmas, the aftermath of a family holiday can be too much to bear for...

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Why Healing And Hypnotherapy Can Help With Divorce Stress

Why Healing And Hypnotherapy Can Help With Divorce Stress

  What are the symptoms that can affect people who are going through a divorce?   Life itself is stressful enough without the added stress caused by marital breakdown. Common symptoms that I witness as a life coach and hypnotherapist often supporting people through their divorce stress, are worry and anxiety about the future (financially and emotionally) which often leads to erratic sleep patterns. When sleep is lacking it often leads to irritability, frustration, lack of energy and...

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Why a Divorcee needs to spend time with a Divorce Financial Planner

Why a Divorcee needs to spend time with a Divorce Financial Planner

  As a Chartered Financial Planner, I often help women who are dealing with divorce, and in this particular case, I helped a woman who wanted to complete a divorce in an amicable fashion – but was also worried about her retirement in years to come. Would she have enough money to live off and maintain her quality of life? And how would working with me be useful to her?  What exactly is the role of a divorce Financial Planner? At first, the lady concerned (let’s call her “Andrea”)...

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Why you need a mortgage expert sooner than you think when you’re getting divorced – by Carl Mountain

Why you need a mortgage expert sooner than you think when you’re getting divorced – by Carl Mountain

  “I’m going to my mother’s!” (and slamming the door) doesn’t let you off the hook if the marital home has a mortgage on it and you decide to get a divorce. If your name is on the mortgage, you are as liable as your spouse for the payments. So getting divorce financial advice early on is a good idea. What’s yours is his and what’s his, is yours – including debts and mortgages. And if the payments are not made, your credit history will be damaged.   So getting to a place of...

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Divorce With Lawyers Who Talk To Each Other: The Collaborative Divorce Process

Divorce With Lawyers Who Talk To Each Other: The Collaborative Divorce Process

  According to the Mirror, lawyers estimate that the average cost of a UK divorce is – in real terms – £70,243 and rising – with the average person losing out on £4,686 of their salary, with an added £5,089 on finding alternative accommodation, £8,926 in legal fees and £51,543 in paying off debt and sharing assets.   Of course, if the divorce starts to get ‘out of hand’ – then legal fees can begin to soar. I spoke recently with a mother who has had to borrow...

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Dispute Resolution Survey Results

Dispute Resolution Survey Results

    I put some key questions to a group of international Dispute Resolution practitioners a few months ago – with the majority of respondents being from the UK – and here are the interim results. The size of the survey is not ‘statistically relevant’ (ie. not yet 100 participants) but it does give some thought provoking data and comments (all confidential regarding who has made them!) The participants were nearly 80% Mediators, 68% Collaboratively trained, just over 16%...

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Collaborative Lawyers and High Profile Divorce

Collaborative Lawyers and High Profile Divorce

  I hear a lot of about collaborative lawyers and the good work they do helping couples navigate the complex process of separation and divorce.   Perhaps the collaborative model would be best for Brexit – legal advice to hand, yet ultimately, collaboration and clear communication (rather than game-playing) the order of the day?  And a lot more private too.   Several celebrity couples have gone through a collaborative divorce. Singer and performer Madonna and her former...

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Divorce Coaching and Better CoParenting

Divorce Coaching and Better CoParenting

My biggest inspiration has been my children. They have been the most important thing in my life so far. To me children are a gift, and with that gift comes a responsibility from the person who receives them, to make sure that your children are given the best opportunities in life, so that they grow into well-adjusted, well-functioning adults. My inspiration for working with couples as a relationship coach is that I know how traumatic divorce and separation can be. I just want to help other...

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What often get’s missed out with a quickie divorce

What often get’s missed out with a quickie divorce

  A recent question came up in our Secret Facebook Group about what is the best online divorce provider. It’s a good question to ask, because the feedback I have had from many people who have used them, is that the quality of the service can vary enormously. But I notice the real problem they have, is that their expectations about what a divorce actually involves, are often way out of kilter. The person asking the question in this case seemed very much in control of the process and was...

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Theta Healing Radio Interview with Debbie Talalay

Theta Healing Radio Interview with Debbie Talalay

  In this Brooklands Radio Surrey interview with Theta Healer Debbie Talalay, Debbie explains how Theta Healing is a quick and powerful way to heal the mind of subconscious blocks – and also physical problems.     She relates an incredible story about a Theta Healing client who reported that her Psoriasis disappeared overnight, and how she has helped people with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.     “Debbie Talalay – wow, if you haven’t been to see...

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Even Swans Get Divorced

Even Swans Get Divorced

Petra isn’t known for her philandering. A number of male swans attempted to make her acquaintance in the two years preceding December 2007 – but Petra rejected them all, for she was in love with a plastic swan-shaped pedal boat. The romantic escapades of the black swan hit headlines around the world when she began following a white pedal boat around on the lake where she lived. When winter arrived, she refused to be separated from the boat when workers removed it from the lake for the winter....

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Infidelity: Julia Keys wants us to spy on each other

Infidelity: Julia Keys wants us to spy on each other

  The wife of former Sky Sports presenter Richards Keys has claimed she spotted ‘telltale’ signs that he may be seducing another woman – as she wrote a book on infidelity.  A trained counsellor, she has now written a book called The Manscript, which helps readers to identify when their partner is cheating on them. I hope that as a trained counsellor, Julia Keys will offer more in her book than how to increase the level of paranoia and fear in every couple who reads the book, where...

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Networking In Business and its Importance

Networking In Business and its Importance

  The gathering of the clan (well, some of them) at the Chesterfield Networking Event in Mayfair – but is person-to-person business networking still worthwhile in the social media age?     Networking In Business and its Importance   We are constantly bombarded with advertisements, emails, status updates, special offers.  But do you ever feel that someone is making an actual effort to get to know you properly? Or do you feel just like you have lots of junk and...

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Securing Your Financial Future After Divorce

Securing Your Financial Future After Divorce

  In his interview with Suzy Miller of the Alternative Divorce Guide, Charlie Reading, of Chartered Financial Planning firm Efficient Portfolio, talks about securing your financial future after divorce, and how to prepare for and deal with the financial impact of divorce.   The financial impact of divorce can be very demanding, especially as it comes at a time when the emotional stress is already high. Taking the time to plan financially helps ensure that your divorce runs as...

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Child First Campaign to prevent abusive ex-partners cross examining their victims in court

Child First Campaign to prevent abusive ex-partners cross examining their victims in court

  Fantastic news – and proof that sanity does eventually (begin to) prevail in the world of Divorce and Families:  As a result of the Child First Campaign bringing the issue of survivors of domestic abuse being cross examined by their abusers in the family courts and the subsequent Guardian investigation into the issue, the Government have announced an emergency review to find the quickest way to ban abusive ex-partners from cross examining their victims. Women’s Aid say...

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Brynne Edelsten’s ‘brutal’ divorce a lifestyle choice over divorce mediation?

Brynne Edelsten’s ‘brutal’ divorce a lifestyle choice over divorce mediation?

  US-Born Brynne Edelsten described her divorce as “nasty and brutal”, leading her to declare she “would never be friends” with the former Sydney Swans owner as she battled to finalise her financial settlement.  But conflict creates stress – both financial and emotional – which is why divorce mediation could have made Brynne’s experience of divorce very different..     Samantha Jago, Divorce Mediator and Solicitor at RHW Solicitors, believes that the...

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Brexit Divorce goes on and on – just like a real divorce! by Victoria Sharman

Brexit Divorce goes on and on – just like a real divorce! by Victoria Sharman

In family life, separation and divorce is traumatic and distressing. It has a negative impact on the overall health and wellbeing of those involved. Although the EU is not a ‘family’ unit, the UK’s vote to exit reflects and parallels the negative fall-out and effects of high-conflict ‘family’ separations on the individuals involved. As a divorce counsellor, Brexit fuelled my therapeutic curiosity. Personally, it brought up issues of loss of relationships and familiar connections. I became...

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When Your Confidence and Until Death Do Us Part are Dancing to a Different Beat – by Dee Burrowes

When Your Confidence and Until Death Do Us Part are Dancing to a Different Beat – by Dee Burrowes

  There’s something magical about family holidays like Christmas and Easter that encourage people to bring joy to others. It’s one of my absolute favourite times of the year where my family and extended family traditionally come together to give thanks. But has the reality of Christmas or Easter without the ‘perfect family’ hit home for you this year – or for someone you know and love?  Is there a husband and wife who are dancing to different tunes – out of...

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A Merry Christmas to the Alternative Divorce Team 2016

A Merry Christmas to the Alternative Divorce Team 2016

With heartfelt thanks I would like to say how honoured I am to be supporting such an elite group of experts in their fields, and to say how amazing it is to be able to share this mission to change the lives of families for the better. I am looking forward to 2017 and making some big breakthroughs, and to sharing that success with all of you who have made it possible by being part of Alternative Divorce. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from...

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How Divorce Can Have an Effect on Health – Nigel Rowland Interview by Suzy Miller

How Divorce Can Have an Effect on Health – Nigel Rowland Interview by Suzy Miller

  Suzy Miller of the Alternative Divorce Guide interviewed Nigel Rowland, a financial services expert about the effect divorce can have on your health – and how to protect yourself from the possible financial fallout during and after this difficult time.   Divorce Has Lasting Impact on Health.   It is no surprise to anyone who has experienced it themselves, to discover that Divorce can have lasting repercussions on health: *studies show that even for those who remarry, the...

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How to create a business plan for your Life, and who is qualified to help you.

How to create a business plan for your Life, and who is qualified to help you.

  Sam Whybrow believes we all need a ‘business plan’ for our own lives, so that our finances will empower us to live the lives we dream of – not hold us back, hiding our true potential.  But to create such a ‘business plan’ for your life, you need specialist financial guidance to be proactive not reactive with your finances – and Sam explains how to access that support.   What is the service that you provide? In effect, I act a as Finance Director for my clients,...

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Wallowing in Misery, or Wading Through to the Other Side? By Vivienne Smith

Wallowing in Misery, or Wading Through to the Other Side?  By Vivienne Smith

  There are so many ways to cope with the loss of a relationship, but some of them will just leave you feeling worse.   In this interview with Transformation Coach and author of “The Single Mum’s Survival Guide“, Vivienne Smith shares a few examples or how we deal with relationship breakdown, and what better choices we can make:     Denial   You assure everyone you are fine but you realise that you are drinking too much, eating too much or laughing...

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