Divorce and Separation can be far less stressful if you use ‘alternatives’ to going to court – such as Collaborative Law or just keeping things peaceful and out of the court room. James Belderbos is one of those family law solicitors who would much rather you sorted things out in a peaceful manner, than ended up needing to be represented in court. As a family man himself, James prefers to take an intelligent approach to the challenges of separating finances and parenting...
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The first few months and years after separation require adjustments, but when couples move on, parents enter into new relationships. This can mean that whereas one couple were involved before with the co-parenting, now step-parents and more become involved. Blended families bring their own challenges – and not forgetting the important role of grandparents, who may also need to be included. Possible solutions: Plan as early as possible. Work out a Parenting Plan as to who is to...
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BBC Radio Leicester Interview with Collaborative Practitioner and Family Lawyer James Belderbos Summer – and the school summer holidays in particular – can bring stress to many families. We are familiar with the pressures that Christmas can bring with families thrown together over the festive period, but the summer holidays can also create stress and opportunities for conflict. Sadly, like Christmas, the aftermath of a family holiday can be too much to bear for some couples,...
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According to the Mirror, lawyers estimate that the average cost of a UK divorce is – in real terms – £70,243 and rising – with the average person losing out on £4,686 of their salary, with an added £5,089 on finding alternative accommodation, £8,926 in legal fees and £51,543 in paying off debt and sharing assets. Of course, if the divorce starts to get ‘out of hand’ – then legal fees can begin to soar. I spoke recently with a mother who has had to borrow over...
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I hear a lot of about collaborative lawyers and the good work they do helping couples navigate the complex process of separation and divorce. Perhaps the collaborative model would be best for Brexit – legal advice to hand, yet ultimately, collaboration and clear communication (rather than game-playing) the order of the day? And a lot more private too. Several celebrity couples have gone through a collaborative divorce. Singer and performer Madonna and her former husband director...
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A taste of what choices are available to you when dealing with a ‘co-parent’ I find the easiest way to get a good over view of the options open to me, is to watch a short video. So here are some of the experts you will find in CoParenting in a Box talking about ways to deal with divorce, and also post-divorce conflicts over money and child access, and how to break up intelligently when you live with someone and are not legally married. Yep, staying ‘out of court’ is...
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In this video interview by Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller, with Divorce Mediator John Stebbing of Stephen Rimmer LLP, John explains how creating a contact agreement can be a difficult area. The reason it’s difficult is because children grow – their needs change. You don’t want the couple concerned tied to an arrangement which isn’t in the interests of those children anymore. So, you need to have the right type of wording/paragraph that enables the agreement to...
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You don’t need to be friends with your Ex Most people who are getting a divorce or ending a cohabiting relationship are not the best of friends when they split. But sometimes the relationship can be very amicable, and that makes the divorce/separation process much less expensive and stressful. In such cases the collaborative process – where both the couple have a collaboratively trained lawyer to sit with them and give advice, but who engage together with the couple in a round-table...
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I learned more about how to have a healthy relationship with my children’s father through having to co-parent in separate households than I did when we were together. But there are easier ways to learn those lessons. By accessing the same level of professional and holistic support and guidance that couples benefit from when they take a healthy route through divorce, those of you who are wanting to create a Postnuptial Agreement or a Cohabitation Agreement can make future provisions for...
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When my 10 year relationship suddenly split and I found myself with three children under 7, without my name on the house deeds, no career or income, and no pension, I felt the full brunt of not having any marriage laws to protect my interests. I was unusual in that I knew I had no legal rights and that Common Law marriage is a myth. I just never dreamt that my relationship would ever end. I had never heard of ‘Cohabitation Agreements’ – but if my daughter chooses to settle...
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When I lived for ten years with my children’s father we had three children, and when the relationship abruptly ended, the phrase: “Well it’s the same as being married” – proved to be a lie. You can tell yourself that while you are together, but don’t be foolish enough to think it’s the same when you are splitting up. You think you’ll get some of his pension? – Wrong. You are not eligible for any of it. He has a pension. I have none. My career was put aside to look after...
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The Myth of Common Law Marriage Half of the population thinks that Common Law marriage exists according to social attitude surveys which are published annually. It is a dangerous misconception. In this podcast interview by Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller with Collaborative Lawyer Kim Beatson of Anthony Gold Solicitors, Kim explains the harsh reality of not getting married when having a family – if you are to later split up. “There is no such thing as a Common Law...
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Interview by Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller with Collaborative Lawyer Kim Beatson of Anthony Gold Solicitors “For me, training as a Collaborative practitioner was a natural progression from being already an experienced Mediator. Some couples feel that Mediation is just too overwhelming for them, if they are struggling with the emotional and psychological aspects of divorce and family breakup, and those clients may want some partisan help during the negotiations. They feel...
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Let’s do the maths – and see what is the financial advantage of staying out of the divorce courts: There are better ways to travel this journey that will cost you less is money and stress Conventional Adversarial Package (We DON’T recommend this one) Alternative, stay-out-of-court Package includes Divorce in a Box (We think this is a much better choice) Sources: Cost of adversarial divorce * Novitas Divorce Litigation Fund ** Cost of collaborative divorce “ Loving...
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Mr and Mrs Kavanagh, both lawyers, managed to squander their £3,000,000 fortune in disputes about their three children and the financial aspects of their separation. Whilst married for just 10 years, they then spent 5 years litigating and their combined legal costs were said to be £900,000! In a survey commissioned by Resolution in August 2012, 45% of Respondents thought “most divorces involve a visit to Court” and 40% agreed with the statement that “divorces can never be without conflict”....
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Dear Suzy, Thank you for the free gift. I have a question which I am hoping you are able to assist. My soon to be ex husband lives overseas in the same country where most of our assets are. I filed for a divorce in this country and we both have UK solicitors. We have exchanged Form E – he sent me a few questions which I answered fully, but he refuses to satisfactorily answer the questions I sent him. (In his opinion the questions were irreverent). Also a few months ago he proposed an...
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Collaborative lawyers keep you out of court. In fact, you can’t go to court if you use a collaborative lawyer. Should negotiations break down between both parties, and a couple decide to go to court, then they have to get different lawyers to represent them. The advantage of this is that collaborative lawyers have a huge incentive (as do the couple) to find a sustainable and acceptable agreement on all matters relating to the divorce. Collaborative law differs from using only...
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What can seem tricky to some couples is the idea that they both have a collaborative lawyer – because it only works if both of you are using collaborative lawyers – all sitting around working together to find the best solutions. But this is what happens in mediation too so it is a very good way to resolve or avoid any potential conflict. Another advantage is that you can include other professionals in the sessions. I know of a couple who resolved their divorce disputes by...
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Find out more about Collaborative Law from the Resolution website. You can speak direct with our Divorce in a Box Collaborative Lawyers – you will find them on our Expert Directory here…… ...
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