Being a single mum but not defined by it
In this video interview, Vivienne Smith of Personal Breakthrough talks about her experiences as a single mum and how she helps women to see beyond the label – and also acknowledges the benefits of that time as a single mother as part of her own life experience.
“Perhaps one of the most famous single mums of all, J.K.Rowling, wrote the first Harry Potter book when she was a single mother struggling to pay the bills. She has long been a champion of single mothers – in fact, the she is the patron of Gingerbread (a support group for UK single parents) and she has fought hard of the half of all single mums to prevent them from being marginalised or demonised.
There’s nothing more annoying – than hearing some ignorant person claiming that all single mums are that way by choice in order to claim state benefits! I do, however, think that there is a danger of some single mums becoming so attached to that status that they forget what else defines them.
A question I often ask my coaching clients is:…”And is that all you are? Aren’t you so much more than that?” This reminds people that yes – they are a good mum, a great friend, wonderfully creative and resourceful (the list goes on). I remember many years ago, that I had just finished relating my own tale of woe and abandonment to somebody when she made the comment: “yes, but you can’t dine out on that forever, can you?” I realised she had a good point and I was absolutely determined that I would much rather be remembered for my qualities, skills and achievements than just for the fact that I was a single mum. Because there is SO much more to me than that!”
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