Short Films Archives - Online Divorce Advice II How to divorce amicably
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Integrating Families Can Be Tough

Integrating Families Can Be Tough

Nigel shares how difficult it can be to integrate families post-divorce.  Sometimes the ‘new wife’ can be a powerful force for peace! Demi Moore & Bruce Willis who are masters of managing the ‘blended family’.   Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin also stayed friends through their “conscious uncoupling.”  Or you may have heard of Ben Affleck’s divorce where the couple agreed to have separate homes on the same property so their three children can be near both parents.  How would...

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It’s not just about talking to lawyers when divorcing……

It’s not just about talking to lawyers when divorcing……

  You are not alone:   Did you know that even though swans usually mate for life, sometimes they still ‘divorce’? Divorce & family breakup is an emotional & psychological journey, more than a legal & financial one.   What you feel will directly effect how you act: your pain, anger, fear or sense of hopelessness is all quite natural.       How do I keep myself sane through all this?   I think we all go a little crazy during big life changes...

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The right kind of lawyers

The right kind of lawyers

  A taste of what choices are available to you when dealing with a ‘co-parent’   I find the easiest way to get a good over view of the options open to me, is to watch a short video. So here are some of the experts you will find in CoParenting in a Box talking about ways to deal with divorce, and also post-divorce conflicts over money and child access, and how to break up intelligently when you live with someone and are not legally married. Yep, staying ‘out of...

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Practical tips when divorcing by a life organiser

Practical tips when divorcing by a life organiser

When Getting Divorced Keep A Record Of All Your Possessions   If you’re looking for decluttering and help in the home – contact Suzy Miller Email: suzy@startingovershow.com         Divorce is often described as a bereavement. Accepting change can be difficult, coming to terms with the loss of a relationship, the home and sentimental possessions can soon fuel our emotions, resulting in aggression, bullying and controlling behaviour. If you want to know more...

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Stressed dads – fatherhood and divorce

Stressed dads – fatherhood and divorce

  Susan Cowe Miller reassures new dads that there is a simple way to deal with the inevitable stress of fatherhood using Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping).   This technique would be particularly useful for dads who don’t live with their children, and where the contact is squashed into a limited amount of time – which can make the parenting experience even more stressful.     Are you a father finding parenthood difficult?   Are you new to...

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Divorce Coaching is not the same as Counselling

Divorce Coaching is not the same as Counselling

  Zina Arinze of Believe and Live Again shares her views on how divorce coaching can differ from traditional counselling: “One of the things that people need to understand is that there is a difference between being a coach, being a mentor, and being a therapist or a councillor.  Now a councillor will help you to uncover what’s happened in the past.  You might have some hidden issues from your childhood. that have really formed you, and developed you, and made you who you are...

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How much truth can I tell my daughter about her father?

How much truth can I tell my daughter about her father?

Most separating parents ask themselves their own version of this question. The main thing to remember here is that your daughter needs all the support she can have to carry on having loving relationship with her dad. So how much you are going to tell her will depend on whether the situation between yourself and her dad affected her life directly or not. Let’s start with an easier scenario: if the happenings between the two of you were quite contained, she does not need to know the...

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3 Myths that Scare Divorcing Mums

3 Myths that Scare Divorcing Mums

I am a child psychologist Una Archer and I help divorcing mums to do whatever they need to do so that their children feel just as loved, secure and comfortable in their own skin as before the divorce and sometimes even more so. Helping children feel safe is the most direct way of preventing and resolving any issues that the divorce can cause for them. Having had the privilege to witness the journey of a fair few mums I noticed that there are some ideas that seem to be floating in our culture...

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Overcoming Rejection Post Divorce

Overcoming Rejection Post Divorce

Leading London-based Theta healer Debbie Talalay of Deborah Talalay Healing, empowers her clients who have been held back by a fear of rejection, through her affordable videos and energy-based healing.  For those who have been through a divorce or separation, that sense of rejection can be very difficult to shift without the use of Debbie’s healing techniques. “Fear of rejection – this plagues most of us at some time or other in our lives, and yet there is such a simple way...

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My child’s co-parent hasn’t turned up – again!

  How can I help my child to manage their disappointment when the other parent does not show up to see them?   Una Archer MBPsS is a child psychologist who shares practical advice on how to deal with a very stressful and upsetting common co-parenting situation:     It is a good idea to address your own disappointment first: you might have been looking forward to the break or had some other plans for this time that you will have to cancel at a very short notice and do...

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One of the new kid’s on the block: Arbitrator Nadia Beckett

One of the new kid’s on the block: Arbitrator Nadia Beckett

  Family Arbitration can rescue a mediated divorce from crumbling into a nasty expensive court battle, so should more mediators be paying attention to it as a resource for their clients? Nadia Beckett of Beckett Solicitors LLP explains the many benefits of using arbitration in a family law divorce setting.     Family arbitration could become a powerful new tool in the mediator’s toolbox, as it has done over the pond in the US and Canada.  It saves the client money and the...

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The harsh reality of not getting on well with your Ex

The harsh reality of not getting on well with your Ex

The harsh reality of not getting on well with your Ex and keeping contact with the children post divorce – an interview with family law solicitor John Stebbing of Stephen Rimmer LLP: On many occasions I have seen – a father usually – frustrated that he is not seeing his children as frequently as he should, or in circumstances that he would prefer. There are many reasons why that may or may not be right, but I do suggest that when you think about your contact with the children...

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What happens to the children during divorce?

What happens to the children during divorce?

  “I think the most important thing for couples to realise is that the impact that they are going to have on their children during divorce is enormous.”   “All the research now shows that children survive divorce and adjust well if the parents act civilly and behave as friends. So the biggest mistake a lot of parents make, is that they get angry, rush off to the lawyers, rush off to court, and start a war. I’ve had children come into my office and draw me...

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Making a Mediation Agreement legally binding

Making a Mediation Agreement legally binding

Something that clients often ask me, is that if you are the parent who isn’t getting contact with the children, then what’s the point of using mediation, since whatever agreement you reach, it is not immediately legally binding? “We can negotiate using mediation, but the other parent can just ignore what was agreed. How do I make sure that this doesn’t happen?” Something that I frequently advise, is that when you use mediation, you can create a parenting plan...

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EFT Helplessness Part 2: Feeling Stronger

EFT Helplessness Part 2: Feeling Stronger

  Once the ghastly emotional trauma of a marriage ending and the divorce proceedings being started, there may be an opportunity for some dust to settle. Realisations take place and there is a change of perception from the confidence or acceptance of a marriage to the raw awareness of failure or abandonment. Strong feelings of sadness, rage or injustice often dictate during this difficult transition time. However decisions need to be made and life does go on. This blog and video is for...

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3 Tips on how to Divorce more collaboratively

3 Tips on how to Divorce more collaboratively

You don’t need to be friends with your Ex   Most people who are getting a divorce or ending a cohabiting relationship are not the best of friends when they split.  But sometimes the relationship can be very amicable, and that makes the divorce/separation process much less expensive and stressful.  In such cases the collaborative process – where both the couple have a collaboratively trained lawyer to sit with them and give advice, but who engage together with the couple in a...

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Shuttle Mediation during divorce

Shuttle Mediation during divorce

In this interview with Family Mediator Wendy Still, she reveals how even couples who cannot bear to be in the same room as each other, can still access mediation using ‘shuttle mediation’:     “A number of clients are very nervous about mediation, not the process itself, but being in the same room as their former partner/wife/husband, after some time of not seeing them.  There can also be issues of domestic violence which prevent the “normal” type of mediation being...

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Divorce TV: 5 January 2015

Divorce TV: 5 January 2015

  Divorce Day, parenting, cohabitation and other news on Divorce and Starting Over TV 5 January 2015   It was Divorce Day this week – and it was refreshing to see an article in the Guardian by Zoe Williams which bucked the trend, and instead of encouraging us all to believe that vast numbers of people post-New Year were filing for divorce, Zoe pointed out some salient facts that many of us may not have thought about before…..     See other episodes on the Youtube...

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Divorce Day and Cohabitation: Is marriage an insurance policy?

Divorce Day and Cohabitation: Is marriage an insurance policy?

On ‘Divorce Day’ in January it was refreshing to see an article in the Guardian by Zoe Williams which bucked the trend, and instead of encouraging us all to believe that vast numbers of people post-New Year were filing for divorce, Zoe pointed out some salient facts that many of us may not have thought about before: The first is that many of the couples who will be thinking of splitting up this year are not married, and about half of them don’t realise that they don’t...

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Your New Life After Divorce by Joy Fahey

Your New Life After Divorce by Joy Fahey

  Coach Joy Fahey of New Beginnings explains in this short video and accompanying article, how coaching helps people deal with the changes brought through divorce and family breakup. “When you realise that it is the end of your relationship it can tend to leave you feeling desperate and fearful. This is quite normal and having a coach helps you cope with these emotional feelings and supports you through the process of the breakup. Coaching will help you re align yourself to the new...

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Reducing your financial outgoings during divorce with Lottie Kent

Reducing your financial outgoings during divorce with Lottie Kent

  In this video the Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller interviews Financial Consultant Lottie Kent of Riverside Financial Consultants about how a financial advisor can help you reduce your outgoings during divorce, and release finance that can be used to secure a safer future for your children:   “I worked with a lady who wanted to stay in the family home, but the monthly payments were so high that she and her daughter were going to have to find another home because of the...

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Divorce is a confusing time even before you deal with the finances

Divorce is a confusing time even before you deal with the finances

  In this video the Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller interviews Financial Consultant Lottie Kent of Riverside Financial Consultants about how confusing and scary divorce can be, and why the last thing you need is to be getting stressed about your finances as well :   “As the daughter of a broken marriage, I understand how hard divorce can be and I know the last thing you want to be worrying about is your finances. I appreciate going through a divorce is very confusing,...

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Why is counselling when divorcing a wise move?

Why is counselling when divorcing a wise move?

  Why it makes sense to get psychological support earlier rather than later when navigating divorce or family separation: Many clients come to counselling in crisis but realise it would have been life enhancing to invest in their wellbeing earlier.  We often carry the belief that it is disloyal to our family members to discuss our lives with a counsellor when in reality the reverse is true.  What we really need is to be able to express ourselves openly and feel completely un-judged...

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Educated women less threatening to their husbands – apparently

Educated women less threatening to their husbands – apparently

The Divorce News I read today in the Telegraph online is that Men are happier with a smarter wife – according to a study showing a dramatic shift in divorce patterns.  It appears that younger husbands are the first generation of men not to find more highly educated women ‘threatening’. Hoorah! Or is there another way of seeing this? With more than 2.2 million UK women now the main breadwinners in 41% of homes, this study led by Prof Christine Schwartz – a sociologist at the...

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Why divorce mediation is better than going to court

Why divorce mediation is better than going to court

  We often hear that Mediation is “better for the children” – but how many people really understand the benefits overall?   In this video interview by Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller, with Divorce Mediator John Stebbing of Stephen Rimmer LLP, John explains why using divorce Mediation instead of the Courts is a wise choice, and illustrates his assertions with a moving tale of a divorcing couple where the father is being denied access to his 3 children.  Below,...

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Psychological Acupuncture – EFT reducing divorce stress

Psychological Acupuncture – EFT reducing divorce stress

In this interview with EFT expert Susan Cowe Miller, she explains to Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller, how EFT Tapping can help with divorce stress; one of life’s big emotional challenges. Divorce Stress is one of life’s big emotional challenges.  Feelings of frustration, anger, helplessness, injustice all come high on the list. A need for increased confidence, stronger self-worth and self-esteem seem necessary but sometimes they appear out of reach. I share here the first of two...

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Amicable or Adversarial? Divorce financial advice

Amicable or Adversarial?  Divorce financial advice

  In this video interview with financial advisor Sheila Bailey of Willow Private Finance – in my role as the Alternative Divorce Guide – I asked Sheila: “How do couples keep things amicable during divorce and how can you as a financial advisor, help them with that journey”?     “When a relationship breaks down emotions generally run high, there is the possibility that tempers will also run high. There is also so much to think about – the...

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