Divorce Advice Archives - Page 2 of 7 - Online Divorce Advice II How to divorce amicably
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Protecting your privacy after your divorce from social media harassment: Karen Bashford

Protecting your privacy after your divorce from social media harassment: Karen Bashford

Is your Ex following you through social media and the internet? Social media is a wonderful tool for staying in contact, finding clients and suppliers, and on a social level, sharing informative and fun videos. But there is also a dark side to social media – one that as a divorcee you need to be aware of. I discovered how vulnerable I was to my horror, when my ex of 22 years used social media and my website to harass me. It is not pleasant to receive an email or comments on a blog from...

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Is divorce the right choice? by Karen Bashford

Is divorce the right choice? by Karen Bashford

  The Four Stages of Divorce   There are 4 stages to a divorce – the initial decision of should I or shouldn’t I?  Telling your partner… Sorting out the practicalities of a divorce… And finally the divorce itself.   Each stage has an impact on you both emotionally – and financially.  All four stages can be supported by a qualified coach to make each stage less challenging and to ensure that you make the right decisions.   First stage of divorce...

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Divorce and Faith

Divorce and Faith

  Life Coach Zina Arinze talks about the conflicts between Faith and Divorce, if your faith says that divorce is ‘wrong’.  How do you deal with that?     “I believe most Christians agree that marriage is supposed to be forever. But when you find yourself separated, divorced or going through the process, how do you deal with the aftermath?”     A Divorced Christian Single Mum, Zina Arinze, has struggled with this dilemma, and learned so much...

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Fixed-Price Mediations – will they become the norm?

Fixed-Price Mediations – will they become the norm?

  “A Serious Lack of Transparency”   This was the conclusion of recent research into the cost of legal services.  Perhaps one of the best ways to help clients manage their finances in the divorce arena, is to offer more fixed-price services.  This has been seen as difficult in the divorce arena, where costs can easily spiral, but Fixed-Fee Mediations are now beginning to be offered by client-focused law firms.   Family Mediator Samantha Jago of RHW Solicitors in...

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Can Arbitration ‘rescue’ a mediation going off the rails?

Can Arbitration ‘rescue’ a mediation going off the rails?

  Rather than throwing your hands up in despair when a series of mediations look ready to collapse, and rail against the inability of the couple to decide on one specific area that they just ‘got stuck on’ – then why not give that couple the opportunity to let an Arbitrator decide for them? Not only do they stay out of court, but they also could continue the mediation process after that sticky patch was dealt with.  Doesn’t that not seem a sensible option? But...

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It’s not just about talking to lawyers when divorcing……

It’s not just about talking to lawyers when divorcing……

  You are not alone:   Did you know that even though swans usually mate for life, sometimes they still ‘divorce’? Divorce & family breakup is an emotional & psychological journey, more than a legal & financial one.   What you feel will directly effect how you act: your pain, anger, fear or sense of hopelessness is all quite natural.       How do I keep myself sane through all this?   I think we all go a little crazy during big life changes...

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Weapons of War – children and divorce

Weapons of War – children and divorce

  Will divorce really harm my children?   No-one wants their kids to be used as weapons in an adversarial divorce – yet so many families fall into that trap. Your children can grow up as happy as everyone else’s kids – despite the divorce.  But let’s be aware of the consequences if we get it wrong…..   Listen to Catherine’s story…..       Want to reduce the toxic effects of divorce on your kids?   Use the Alternative Divorce Guide...

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The right kind of lawyers

The right kind of lawyers

  A taste of what choices are available to you when dealing with a ‘co-parent’   I find the easiest way to get a good over view of the options open to me, is to watch a short video. So here are some of the experts you will find in CoParenting in a Box talking about ways to deal with divorce, and also post-divorce conflicts over money and child access, and how to break up intelligently when you live with someone and are not legally married. Yep, staying ‘out of...

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Practical tips when divorcing by a life organiser

Practical tips when divorcing by a life organiser

When Getting Divorced Keep A Record Of All Your Possessions   If you’re looking for decluttering and help in the home – contact Suzy Miller Email: suzy@startingovershow.com         Divorce is often described as a bereavement. Accepting change can be difficult, coming to terms with the loss of a relationship, the home and sentimental possessions can soon fuel our emotions, resulting in aggression, bullying and controlling behaviour. If you want to know more...

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Stressed dads – fatherhood and divorce

Stressed dads – fatherhood and divorce

  Susan Cowe Miller reassures new dads that there is a simple way to deal with the inevitable stress of fatherhood using Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping).   This technique would be particularly useful for dads who don’t live with their children, and where the contact is squashed into a limited amount of time – which can make the parenting experience even more stressful.     Are you a father finding parenthood difficult?   Are you new to...

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Divorce Coaching is not the same as Counselling

Divorce Coaching is not the same as Counselling

  Zina Arinze of Believe and Live Again shares her views on how divorce coaching can differ from traditional counselling: “One of the things that people need to understand is that there is a difference between being a coach, being a mentor, and being a therapist or a councillor.  Now a councillor will help you to uncover what’s happened in the past.  You might have some hidden issues from your childhood. that have really formed you, and developed you, and made you who you are...

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3 Myths that Scare Divorcing Mums

3 Myths that Scare Divorcing Mums

I am a child psychologist Una Archer and I help divorcing mums to do whatever they need to do so that their children feel just as loved, secure and comfortable in their own skin as before the divorce and sometimes even more so. Helping children feel safe is the most direct way of preventing and resolving any issues that the divorce can cause for them. Having had the privilege to witness the journey of a fair few mums I noticed that there are some ideas that seem to be floating in our culture...

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Overcoming Rejection Post Divorce

Overcoming Rejection Post Divorce

Leading London-based Theta healer Debbie Talalay of Deborah Talalay Healing, empowers her clients who have been held back by a fear of rejection, through her affordable videos and energy-based healing.  For those who have been through a divorce or separation, that sense of rejection can be very difficult to shift without the use of Debbie’s healing techniques. “Fear of rejection – this plagues most of us at some time or other in our lives, and yet there is such a simple way...

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My child’s co-parent hasn’t turned up – again!

  How can I help my child to manage their disappointment when the other parent does not show up to see them?   Una Archer MBPsS is a child psychologist who shares practical advice on how to deal with a very stressful and upsetting common co-parenting situation:     It is a good idea to address your own disappointment first: you might have been looking forward to the break or had some other plans for this time that you will have to cancel at a very short notice and do...

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One of the new kid’s on the block: Arbitrator Nadia Beckett

One of the new kid’s on the block: Arbitrator Nadia Beckett

  Family Arbitration can rescue a mediated divorce from crumbling into a nasty expensive court battle, so should more mediators be paying attention to it as a resource for their clients? Nadia Beckett of Beckett Solicitors LLP explains the many benefits of using arbitration in a family law divorce setting.     Family arbitration could become a powerful new tool in the mediator’s toolbox, as it has done over the pond in the US and Canada.  It saves the client money and the...

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The harsh reality of not getting on well with your Ex

The harsh reality of not getting on well with your Ex

The harsh reality of not getting on well with your Ex and keeping contact with the children post divorce – an interview with family law solicitor John Stebbing of Stephen Rimmer LLP: On many occasions I have seen – a father usually – frustrated that he is not seeing his children as frequently as he should, or in circumstances that he would prefer. There are many reasons why that may or may not be right, but I do suggest that when you think about your contact with the children...

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A young woman talks about her parents’ divorce

A young woman talks about her parents’ divorce

  Interview with a young woman who’s parents divorced when she was 9, and how it affected her. Catherine relates how her parents combative divorce has affected her life.   http://traffic.libsyn.com/alternativedivorceradioshow/Catherine.mp3     For more shared stories, videos and key resources for parents and children experiencing family change, click here: Code for complimentary access to this resource (value £35) until 31 January 2016 is Mediation as part of Family...

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Forgiveness Heals post divorce

Forgiveness Heals post divorce

  All over the world you have people who either help you before you get married, or after you get married.   But what about when you get divorced?     Zina Arinze of Believe and Live Again talks about the power of divorce coaching and how forgiveness can be a catalyst for moving on.   “If you are considering divorce, the kind of things that you need to look at – the finances, the property, the children – teaching you how to not be too emotional during...

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What happens to the children during divorce?

What happens to the children during divorce?

  “I think the most important thing for couples to realise is that the impact that they are going to have on their children during divorce is enormous.”   “All the research now shows that children survive divorce and adjust well if the parents act civilly and behave as friends. So the biggest mistake a lot of parents make, is that they get angry, rush off to the lawyers, rush off to court, and start a war. I’ve had children come into my office and draw me...

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How do I get to see my kids after separation or divorce?

How do I get to see my kids after separation or divorce?

  “A question I’m often asked is ‘How do I get to see my children?’.   It’s not always a dad asking that question, but it is often.” That’s a really difficult one – because when one parent has been prevented, for whatever reason, whether rightly or (as is often the case) wrongly, it is very emotional and upsetting. It makes that parent who is being prevented from seeing their child, very very angry. The first thing that they usually...

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Keeping flexible when creating a child contact agreement

Keeping flexible when creating a child contact agreement

In this video interview by Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller, with Divorce Mediator John Stebbing of Stephen Rimmer LLP, John explains how creating a contact agreement can be a difficult area. The reason it’s difficult is because children grow – their needs change. You don’t want the couple concerned tied to an arrangement which isn’t in the interests of those children anymore. So, you need to have the right type of wording/paragraph that enables the agreement to...

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Making a Mediation Agreement legally binding

Making a Mediation Agreement legally binding

Something that clients often ask me, is that if you are the parent who isn’t getting contact with the children, then what’s the point of using mediation, since whatever agreement you reach, it is not immediately legally binding? “We can negotiate using mediation, but the other parent can just ignore what was agreed. How do I make sure that this doesn’t happen?” Something that I frequently advise, is that when you use mediation, you can create a parenting plan...

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Divorce in the Workplace part 2

Divorce in the Workplace part 2

  Zina Arinze of Believe and Live Again is a career woman who knows how tough it is to get divorced and hold down a high level job at the same time.     One of the reasons I love what I do is because it’s my story.  I am a mother and a professional.  My first degree was in Law, I have an MBA and I was married to a doctor.  We were one of those ‘professional couples’.  I work as a project management consultant in high pressure jobs, and when I was going through...

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Divorce in the workplace part one with Zina Arinze

Divorce in the workplace part one with Zina Arinze

    Professional women typically wear a mask.  I know I used to wear a mask and hide my true emotions.   We feel we are not allowed to be vulnerable.  If you hold a high postion in the workplace you feel that you are not allowed to be emotional or to show any vulnerability.    Your boss or director may feel that you can’t hold it together and you may feel that you could lose your job, as you are seen as someone who may threaten the bottom line of the...

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Champion of Justice Award 2014 – Samantha Jago of RHW Solicitors!

Champion of Justice Award 2014 – Samantha Jago of RHW Solicitors!

One of the winners in 2014 of the Champion of Justice Award was Alternative Divorce Directory Mediator Samantha Jago of RHW Solicitors…..  and a very proud and happy winner she was too, as you can see!   Samantha received her reward for her dedicated service to her local Citizens’ Advice Bureau where she has offered pro-bono legal advice for many years. Because Samantha is an experienced mediator, an added bonus to the people of the Guildford area is that they are receiving...

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He’s left me so I must be worthless!

He’s left me so I must be worthless!

If you’re a woman and you’re the one who has been deserted – it’s difficult to feel good about yourself. Is it my weight – have I gone to seed? Is that why he’s left me? Or – he left me to look after the kids – so I gave up my career and now he finds me boring. It’s so unfair! Or – I’m stuck at home and he’s out in the world – meeting glamorous people. I’ll never forgive him.   Once you’ve got over the shock – and if the relationship really can’t be mended – take a good look at yourself....

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EFT Helplessness Part 2: Feeling Stronger

EFT Helplessness Part 2: Feeling Stronger

  Once the ghastly emotional trauma of a marriage ending and the divorce proceedings being started, there may be an opportunity for some dust to settle. Realisations take place and there is a change of perception from the confidence or acceptance of a marriage to the raw awareness of failure or abandonment. Strong feelings of sadness, rage or injustice often dictate during this difficult transition time. However decisions need to be made and life does go on. This blog and video is for...

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3 Tips on how to Divorce more collaboratively

3 Tips on how to Divorce more collaboratively

You don’t need to be friends with your Ex   Most people who are getting a divorce or ending a cohabiting relationship are not the best of friends when they split.  But sometimes the relationship can be very amicable, and that makes the divorce/separation process much less expensive and stressful.  In such cases the collaborative process – where both the couple have a collaboratively trained lawyer to sit with them and give advice, but who engage together with the couple in a...

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Shuttle Mediation during divorce

Shuttle Mediation during divorce

In this interview with Family Mediator Wendy Still, she reveals how even couples who cannot bear to be in the same room as each other, can still access mediation using ‘shuttle mediation’:     “A number of clients are very nervous about mediation, not the process itself, but being in the same room as their former partner/wife/husband, after some time of not seeing them.  There can also be issues of domestic violence which prevent the “normal” type of mediation being...

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Divorce First Aid for Employees interview with Suzy Miller

Divorce First Aid for Employees interview with Suzy Miller

Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller talks about Divorce First Aid for Employees in this podcast interview with Single Mums’ Survival Guide author and transformational coach Vivienne Smith:     “Family breakup and divorce has significant health consequences both physically and emotionally, and therefore it is vital that co-workers and managers have a basic understanding on how to deliver “First Aid” in the form of guidance, access to resources, and a non-judgemental...

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