Divorce Advice Archives - Page 2 of 6 - Online Divorce Advice II How to divorce amicably
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My child’s co-parent hasn’t turned up – again!

My child’s co-parent hasn’t turned up – again!

  How can I help my child to manage their disappointment when the other parent does not show up to see them?   Una Archer MBPsS is a child psychologist who shares practical advice on how to deal with a very stressful and upsetting common co-parenting situation:     It is a good idea to address your own disappointment first: you might have been looking forward to the break or had some other plans for this time that you will have to cancel at a very short notice and do...

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One of the new kid’s on the block: Arbitrator Nadia Beckett

One of the new kid’s on the block: Arbitrator Nadia Beckett

  Family Arbitration can rescue a mediated divorce from crumbling into a nasty expensive court battle, so should more mediators be paying attention to it as a resource for their clients? Nadia Beckett of Beckett Solicitors LLP explains the many benefits of using arbitration in a family law divorce setting.     Family arbitration could become a powerful new tool in the mediator’s toolbox, as it has done over the pond in the US and Canada.  It saves the client money and the...

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The harsh reality of not getting on well with your Ex

The harsh reality of not getting on well with your Ex

The harsh reality of not getting on well with your Ex and keeping contact with the children post divorce – an interview with family law solicitor John Stebbing of Stephen Rimmer LLP: On many occasions I have seen – a father usually – frustrated that he is not seeing his children as frequently as he should, or in circumstances that he would prefer. There are many reasons why that may or may not be right, but I do suggest that when you think about your contact with the children...

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A young woman talks about her parents’ divorce

A young woman talks about her parents’ divorce

  Interview with a young woman who’s parents divorced when she was 9, and how it affected her. Catherine relates how her parents combative divorce has affected her life.   http://traffic.libsyn.com/alternativedivorceradioshow/Catherine.mp3     For more shared stories, videos and key resources for parents and children experiencing family change, click here: Code for complimentary access to this resource (value £35) until 31 January 2016 is Mediation as part of Family...

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Forgiveness Heals post divorce

Forgiveness Heals post divorce

  All over the world you have people who either help you before you get married, or after you get married.   But what about when you get divorced?     Zina Arinze of Believe and Live Again talks about the power of divorce coaching and how forgiveness can be a catalyst for moving on.   “If you are considering divorce, the kind of things that you need to look at – the finances, the property, the children – teaching you how to not be too emotional during...

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What happens to the children during divorce?

What happens to the children during divorce?

  “I think the most important thing for couples to realise is that the impact that they are going to have on their children during divorce is enormous.”   “All the research now shows that children survive divorce and adjust well if the parents act civilly and behave as friends. So the biggest mistake a lot of parents make, is that they get angry, rush off to the lawyers, rush off to court, and start a war. I’ve had children come into my office and draw me...

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How do I get to see my kids after separation or divorce?

How do I get to see my kids after separation or divorce?

  “A question I’m often asked is ‘How do I get to see my children?’.   It’s not always a dad asking that question, but it is often.” That’s a really difficult one – because when one parent has been prevented, for whatever reason, whether rightly or (as is often the case) wrongly, it is very emotional and upsetting. It makes that parent who is being prevented from seeing their child, very very angry. The first thing that they usually...

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Keeping flexible when creating a child contact agreement

Keeping flexible when creating a child contact agreement

In this video interview by Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller, with Divorce Mediator John Stebbing of Stephen Rimmer LLP, John explains how creating a contact agreement can be a difficult area. The reason it’s difficult is because children grow – their needs change. You don’t want the couple concerned tied to an arrangement which isn’t in the interests of those children anymore. So, you need to have the right type of wording/paragraph that enables the agreement to...

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Making a Mediation Agreement legally binding

Making a Mediation Agreement legally binding

Something that clients often ask me, is that if you are the parent who isn’t getting contact with the children, then what’s the point of using mediation, since whatever agreement you reach, it is not immediately legally binding? “We can negotiate using mediation, but the other parent can just ignore what was agreed. How do I make sure that this doesn’t happen?” Something that I frequently advise, is that when you use mediation, you can create a parenting plan...

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Divorce in the Workplace part 2

Divorce in the Workplace part 2

  Zina Arinze of Believe and Live Again is a career woman who knows how tough it is to get divorced and hold down a high level job at the same time.     One of the reasons I love what I do is because it’s my story.  I am a mother and a professional.  My first degree was in Law, I have an MBA and I was married to a doctor.  We were one of those ‘professional couples’.  I work as a project management consultant in high pressure jobs, and when I was going through...

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Divorce in the workplace part one with Zina Arinze

Divorce in the workplace part one with Zina Arinze

    Professional women typically wear a mask.  I know I used to wear a mask and hide my true emotions.   We feel we are not allowed to be vulnerable.  If you hold a high postion in the workplace you feel that you are not allowed to be emotional or to show any vulnerability.    Your boss or director may feel that you can’t hold it together and you may feel that you could lose your job, as you are seen as someone who may threaten the bottom line of the...

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Champion of Justice Award 2014 – Samantha Jago of RHW Solicitors!

Champion of Justice Award 2014 – Samantha Jago of RHW Solicitors!

One of the winners in 2014 of the Champion of Justice Award was Alternative Divorce Directory Mediator Samantha Jago of RHW Solicitors…..  and a very proud and happy winner she was too, as you can see!   Samantha received her reward for her dedicated service to her local Citizens’ Advice Bureau where she has offered pro-bono legal advice for many years. Because Samantha is an experienced mediator, an added bonus to the people of the Guildford area is that they are receiving...

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He’s left me so I must be worthless!

He’s left me so I must be worthless!

If you’re a woman and you’re the one who has been deserted – it’s difficult to feel good about yourself. Is it my weight – have I gone to seed? Is that why he’s left me? Or – he left me to look after the kids – so I gave up my career and now he finds me boring. It’s so unfair! Or – I’m stuck at home and he’s out in the world – meeting glamorous people. I’ll never forgive him.   Once you’ve got over the shock – and if the relationship really can’t be mended – take a good look at yourself....

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EFT Helplessness Part 2: Feeling Stronger

EFT Helplessness Part 2: Feeling Stronger

  Once the ghastly emotional trauma of a marriage ending and the divorce proceedings being started, there may be an opportunity for some dust to settle. Realisations take place and there is a change of perception from the confidence or acceptance of a marriage to the raw awareness of failure or abandonment. Strong feelings of sadness, rage or injustice often dictate during this difficult transition time. However decisions need to be made and life does go on. This blog and video is for...

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3 Tips on how to Divorce more collaboratively

3 Tips on how to Divorce more collaboratively

You don’t need to be friends with your Ex   Most people who are getting a divorce or ending a cohabiting relationship are not the best of friends when they split.  But sometimes the relationship can be very amicable, and that makes the divorce/separation process much less expensive and stressful.  In such cases the collaborative process – where both the couple have a collaboratively trained lawyer to sit with them and give advice, but who engage together with the couple in a...

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Shuttle Mediation during divorce

Shuttle Mediation during divorce

In this interview with Family Mediator Wendy Still, she reveals how even couples who cannot bear to be in the same room as each other, can still access mediation using ‘shuttle mediation’:     “A number of clients are very nervous about mediation, not the process itself, but being in the same room as their former partner/wife/husband, after some time of not seeing them.  There can also be issues of domestic violence which prevent the “normal” type of mediation being...

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Divorce First Aid for Employees interview with Suzy Miller

Divorce First Aid for Employees interview with Suzy Miller

Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller talks about Divorce First Aid for Employees in this podcast interview with Single Mums’ Survival Guide author and transformational coach Vivienne Smith:     “Family breakup and divorce has significant health consequences both physically and emotionally, and therefore it is vital that co-workers and managers have a basic understanding on how to deliver “First Aid” in the form of guidance, access to resources, and a non-judgemental...

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Mediator John Stebbing interviewed by Vivienne Smith

Mediator John Stebbing interviewed by Vivienne Smith

John Stebbing of Stephen Rimmer LLP talks about “Divorcing with Style” using mediation, in this podcast interview with Single Mums’ Survival Guide author and transformational coach Vivienne Smith:     Divorce Mediator John Stebbing of Stephen Rimmer LLP, explains why using divorce Mediation instead of the Courts is a wise choice, and illustrates this with a moving tale of a divorcing couple where the father is being denied access to his 3 children.  The children had...

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When your Ex doesn’t want to use mediation to divorce

When your Ex doesn’t want to use mediation to divorce

In this interview with Family Mediator Wendy Still, she reveals how even the most negative divorce mediation clients can discover the powerful benefits of using this particular route through divorce: “Some clients come to mediation, not necessarily because they want to, but rather because their own solicitor has told them “they have to”. Of course, before issuing any application for financial relief or for an Order under the Children Act in private law proceedings, trying mediation first is a...

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Some home truths about Divorce Mediation

Some home truths about Divorce Mediation

Family Mediator Samantha Jago of RHW Solicitors gives us some clear home truths about divorce mediation in this short video interview. Samantha tells us plainly what can happen if a couple just want to have a good old fashioned court battle, and also a reality-check on how mediation works in practice. Some more facts about divorce mediation: Family mediation is a form of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) which helps you reach decisions about things that are important for you and your...

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Will we lose our pension if we don’t use a financial advisor?

Will we lose our pension if we don’t use a financial advisor?

What will happen if we don’t seek advice when taking pension benefits?   The new pension legislation is not just something for financial experts to worry about – anyone with a pension needs to be aware that they could lose much of their future financial security to the tax man, if they don’t get the right advice.   And if you are someone who has been through divorce, and relying very much on the pension arrangements for your financial stability, the last thing you need is to unwillingly...

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The true cost of divorce

The true cost of divorce

  No-one knows better the true cost of divorce than those who have experienced an adversarial court-focused litigation process.  Sometimes those people are the very professionals who work hard to support divorcing clients to stay away from the court and find a better solution.   In this podcast interview with a Financial Advisor who has been through an acrimonious divorce, he describes the true cost of his own divorce and believes that if he had been able to use mediation then...

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Divorce TV: 5 January 2015

Divorce TV: 5 January 2015

  Divorce Day, parenting, cohabitation and other news on Divorce and Starting Over TV 5 January 2015   It was Divorce Day this week – and it was refreshing to see an article in the Guardian by Zoe Williams which bucked the trend, and instead of encouraging us all to believe that vast numbers of people post-New Year were filing for divorce, Zoe pointed out some salient facts that many of us may not have thought about before…..     See other episodes on the Youtube...

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Feeling Compassion For Your Ex: Sandie Martel

Feeling Compassion For Your Ex: Sandie Martel

Feeling compassion for your Ex may not always be easy – but not impossible. Sandie Martel tells us how it can be done in this interview with Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller:   “Feeling Compassion For Your Ex…. You are probably reading this and thinking I must have completely lost it. Well actually, I haven’t. I am feeling great. Of course compassion was not on the menu and if it had been, I probably would not have chosen it. But it suddenly appeared, when all the...

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Divorce Day and Cohabitation: Is marriage an insurance policy?

Divorce Day and Cohabitation: Is marriage an insurance policy?

On ‘Divorce Day’ in January it was refreshing to see an article in the Guardian by Zoe Williams which bucked the trend, and instead of encouraging us all to believe that vast numbers of people post-New Year were filing for divorce, Zoe pointed out some salient facts that many of us may not have thought about before: The first is that many of the couples who will be thinking of splitting up this year are not married, and about half of them don’t realise that they don’t...

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International Child-Centered Divorce Month

International Child-Centered Divorce Month

  January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month offering complimentary books, audios, coaching and other gifts for parents coping with divorce   International Child-Centered Divorce Month is being commemorated once again in January. The entire month is devoted to alerting parents about the effects of divorce on children – and how parents can make better choices regarding their children’s well-being during and long after divorce.   Throughout January, divorce attorneys,...

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Changing People: with Life Coach Sandie Martel

Changing People: with Life Coach Sandie Martel

In this interview with Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller, Life Coach Sandie Martel  shares a story of how she transformed her relationship with her strong-willed 5 year old.   Letting go There is something very liberating when you stop wanting people to change or to change people. We get easily annoyed when people are not acting the way we would like them to. We have so many expectations about just anything and anyone. We often think that life would be so much easier if only our...

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Your New Life After Divorce by Joy Fahey

Your New Life After Divorce by Joy Fahey

  Coach Joy Fahey of New Beginnings explains in this short video and accompanying article, how coaching helps people deal with the changes brought through divorce and family breakup. “When you realise that it is the end of your relationship it can tend to leave you feeling desperate and fearful. This is quite normal and having a coach helps you cope with these emotional feelings and supports you through the process of the breakup. Coaching will help you re align yourself to the new...

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Reducing your financial outgoings during divorce with Lottie Kent

Reducing your financial outgoings during divorce with Lottie Kent

  In this video the Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller interviews Financial Consultant Lottie Kent of Riverside Financial Consultants about how a financial advisor can help you reduce your outgoings during divorce, and release finance that can be used to secure a safer future for your children:   “I worked with a lady who wanted to stay in the family home, but the monthly payments were so high that she and her daughter were going to have to find another home because of the...

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Family Arbitration: A Flash in the Pan?

Family Arbitration: A Flash in the Pan?

It seems clear that Family Arbitration has something to offer in the divorce arena, but will it be adopted by the legal profession as another tool in the divorce tool-box – or be quietly left in a cupboard to be brought into the light only by a small band of hard-core enthusiasts? It does have some limitations – currently, Arbitration cannot be used to decide children matters.   “Arbitration is certainly …a huge untapped resource at the moment… it can...

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